Birthdays

I turned 44 on September 21. I was sick for days around my birthday, so I didn't really have the time to think about another year tacked onto my life. Now I am reflecting on this momentous occasion. The days accumulate so slowly, but when a birthday comes, I realize how much of my life has sifted through my fingers. I have evolved over these years and now say and do things I never thought I would when I was in my twenties. Dirty dishes just aren't my main worry anymore. I don't lose sleep over what I'm going to wear tomorrow. The things I do worry about are my overall effectiveness as a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, and a friend. How can this ever be measured? I'm glad I'm not in charge of this measuring. I have faith in a perfect Savior who will stand as our advocate when that final analysis takes place. At times I feel very close to that eye-opening day and confident that I will be able to look my Father in Heaven in the eyes, knowing I have done my best. Then there are days when my confidence falters and I remember being impatient over the silliest thing like a pink clay stain on the table from Abbey's girl pirate ship creation. I might be 44 but have a long way to go until I am molded into what He wants me to be. I guess all creations leave their stains as the molding takes place.

Wonder Woman Times Two

Yesterday I made myself walk out of my classroom and embrace my home and family again. My personality is "all or nothing" so I have thrown myself into revitalizing my teaching as I begin another phase of my career. It has been exhausting yet familiar and welcome to remember my talents as a teacher. At the same time though, I have been remembering the parts of this job that never became easy for me - dealing with the piles and piles of English papers to name just one.

As I locked my classroom door, I had to reassure myself that the most important thing in my life are the smiles and company of my husband, children, and grandson. I haven't been as focused on this over the last few weeks. There will always be piles of papers, but there won't always be time to try on Halloween costumes with my six-year-old and see the light in her eyes as she puts on the Wonder Woman cape and looks into the mirror. When I was her age I wanted nothing more than to be Wonder Woman, complete with the golden lasso of truth and the bullet repelling arm bracelets. Abbey and I walked out of TJ Maxx with the costume and my joy brimming over, my priorities returned to their correct place. Maybe both of us will be Wonder Women in October!