Our Qatar Exit

This last March Brett received a terrible birthday present.  He was visiting Finland with a group of students on a work assignment.  On his birthday the students all wanted to experience the snow up close and personal so they went sledding.  Well Brett wanted to celebrate a little and decided to join them.  He promptly crashed, hit his head, and woke up the beast he had been fighting for years:  long-standing back and neck pain from long ago injuries.  When he got home, life got very difficult in Qatar.  The medical system there is chaotic, confusing, and behind the times, especially when it comes to managing pain.  It took him a month just to get in for an MRI (thank goodness there was no serious head injury) and another month to see the specialist and have him tell him that physical therapy is all they could offer him.  Because he had aggravated an already existing condition that he had had for years, the pain in Brett's neck and back was so constant and so debilitating he couldn't even think of attempting physical therapy.

That's when we realized he might have to live with the pain for months before getting home to the states and then we were in for a complicated summer.  We would have to get him home, in to see a specialist, and repeat this whole process.  We tried to set up appointments from Qatar via Skype but getting the MRI results from the Qatar doctor and then sending them to the specialist in Utah took weeks.  My health had really gone down hill since moving to Doha so I knew I needed some TLC from my team of health care professionals too.  The more we talked and thought about what would be required to happen this summer the more we realized that our summer might have to be extended.  We probably wouldn't make it back in time for VCUQ's fall term or for Abbey's start of school at ASD.

Expat life is tricky.  There are so many things to consider when health issues come up.  We knew that home in Utah would be the best place for us to get the medical care that we both needed, but Brett's job is in Qatar.  Abbey was just finishing up 5th grade at ASD and was excited about the prospects of middle school and 6th grade.  As Brett's pain increased and his ability to even work part of the day lessened we had to make some decisions.

In the middle of all this VCUQ informed Brett that VCU in Virginia didn't want to take on the liability of signing villa leases in Qatar anymore and so we would have to take a personal financial risk by signing the villa lease ourselves - not what we wanted to do.  Brett asked when the lease would be up and when the human resources department checked, it was up that day, the day Brett was sitting in the office hearing this for the first time.  There have been other surprising issues come up at VCUQ over the years that have not been conducive to a peaceful life in a very unnerving country so this wasn't as big of a surprise at it could have been, but it seemed to be the tipping point.  In addition, even though Brett was enjoying working with students and faculty and researching in the Interior Design Department, he was getting anxious to get back to architecture and design. (VCU eventually relented and signed a year's lease for everyone when the dean made a trip to Virginia for her annual pow wow, but by then we had made our decision to just find another villa when and if we came back to Qatar.)

So with all of these issues stacking up, and others I cannot mention here, there seemed to be many arrows pointing us toward the Qatar exit signs.  So we got on our knees and turned to the Lord.  The final answer has come slowly over the summer, but we felt then that we should get ready for whatever was to come. So we began to make tentative/unofficial plans to move home.  Breaking the news of the possible move home to Abbey was easier than we had thought.  She was sad for awhile about the possibility of leaving friends and especially the leaving ASD and be in middle school, but surprisingly, she was the most energetic as we made preparations for all contingencies.  Only the summer would tell us if we were leaving Qatar for good or if we would be back for a fifth year.

We began selling things:  cars, bikes, electronics and household goods we had purchased, clothing, and the enormous amount of odds and ends we had accumulated over four years.  We told close friends and neighbors that we were moving because our lease was up, because that is all we knew for sure.  We had to wait until Brett saw the neurosurgeon in Utah to know what was in store for us in the fall.  We left the door open for us to come back, because truthfully, we didn't know if he would be recovering from back surgery, if he could be helped with simply the right medication, or if he could even find another job if medical issues forced us to stay home.  When it came right down to it though, we purchased one way tickets home to Utah because if we had an extended summer, Abbey would have to start school in Utah anyway and then we would be in Utah at least until Christmas.

Three days before flying home, Brett received an email from a former co-worker.  Chad wanted to let Brett know that the boss at his former architecture firm had mentioned that he wanted to hire a head designer and lead architect and he had mentioned Brett's name.  There was a series of emails back and forth and then when we arrived in Utah, the emails turned to phone calls, which turned to an interview, salary negotiations, and then a job offer.  Brett accepted the offer because he wasn't sure how we were going to pay for all the medical bills, especially if surgery was down the road.  We felt like the Lord's hand was in all of this so we couldn't wait around for the medical decisions to be finalized.  We had to move forward on faith.

Because it was such a long and involved process for him to even get in to see the neurosurgeon who had been recommended by several friends, Brett finally saw him a few days before starting his new job.  The neurosurgeon wanted to take a conservative approach to Brett's injury and recommended physical therapy, traction, and a series of cortisone injections.  It was clearly going to be a chronic condition that could not be solved in a matter of months. Because our family doctor and the neurosurgeon were managing Brett's pain with the correct medications, this seemed possible and hopeful but not quick enough to make working in Qatar a reality.  Brett gradually was able to work a full day and came home smiling and happy from feeling so at home at the office and having the ability to create again.  The decision seemed to be making itself.  Qatar couldn't offer him or me the kind of medical care we need, a new job had fallen into Brett's lap, and we have been feeling blessed beyond measure, in spite of the difficulties.

So saying good bye to Doha means that we say good bye to some great friends we have made during our adventure.  It means a tighter income and a lot less travel.  It means less family time with Brett now that he is working regular office hours and all through the summer.  Being a professor at VCUQ has had its perks but Brett and our family earned every perk, believe me.  With all the amenities comes a lot of expat chaos that can tear a family apart or bind them together like never before.  I think the latter has happened to us, thankfully.  We have put up with the heat, humidity, and the driving insanity.  We have had to hold our tongues and smile instead of complain and scream for some common sense to be used in every day life.  We have been able to laugh at the amusing clash of cultures and have sorrow for those inequalities that still exist in this so-called modern world.

The workers of Qatar will be my favorite take home memory from our time in the Middle East.  To see the hard working faces of the Filipino, Indian, Nepali, and Sri Lankan workers in the unbearable 118 degree heat with 80% humidity, and know that they feel lucky to have a job so they can send a small amount of money home to family is humbling.  To watch the masses of working men walking around near the old souq on a Friday afternoon, trying to enjoy their one day off, is overwhelming, especially thinking about all the wives and children some have had to leave in their home countries and might not see for years.  Whenever I saw the brilliant smile of our guards as they waved us into our compound it gave me courage to face my trials with a brave face. To look into the sweet face of the woman who cleaned for us each week and see the beginnings of trust develop between us made my heart hope, hope for a more civilized universe where everyone is treated with love and dignity.  And to see a friend's Nepali nanny take a giant step forward in her life by being baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, see her learn to drive a car, see her meet a Mormon man online and get engaged, then to see her marry him in Nepal with all the brilliant oranges and reds of a Hindu wedding was unforgettable and life-changing.  These are just some of the miracles of our Qatar adventure.

Another Interesting Irony of the Middle East

Every time we come back to the U.S. for the summer I feel very pampered to be able to purchase my favorite deodorant - Secret, the strong enough for a man but made for a woman product.  Brett's deodorant of choice is also a U.S. indulgence - Sure.

So why is it that one of the hottest places on earth doesn't have the two best deodorants in the world?  And believe me, the hard working, terribly sweaty people in the Middle East could really use these two American wonder products.  The overwhelming scents that confronted my newly immigrated nose in Qatar were . . . well . . . offensive to be perfectly honest.  The Proctor and Gamble folks really have not tapped into the most stinkified market known to mankind.  If I was an enterprising entrepreneur I would definitely get some meetings going with the Innovative Brands people and the P&G execs to convince them of the sadly neglected personal hygiene of the people of the Middle East and the desperate need for them to infiltrate Qatar's store shelves with what could potentially be the most welcome invasion ever.

Moving to Qatar? Another Tutorial

I haven't traveled to many places in this world, but from what I hear and from personal experience, I think Qatar is a very unique country.  It is a place where you can bump up against a wide variety of cultures, literally, as in the unpleasant traffic kind of way, and figuratively, as in the beautiful smile and head wag of the Indian woman who rang up my groceries today.  Qatar is populated primarily by expats.  Everywhere you look you will see Sri Lankans, Indians, Pakistanis, Australians, Americans, Filipinos, and the list could go on and on.  There are more than 1.7 million people in this tiny country but only a small fraction are full-fledged citizens. Yes, there are Qataris but they make up only 20% of the population.

1.  As you drive around Doha you will notice that there are thousands of new cars, at least that's what they seem to be because the plastic from the car factory is still on the seats.  Well, let's just say that the owners of these cars like to hang on to that "new car smell" as long as possible and leave the factory plastic in place until it is in shreds.  They also like to leave the factory identification papers on the windows too.  You will also notice that when the factory plastic wears off, many Land Cruiser owners will have custom plastic put on the seats.  I haven't been able to understand the logic behind it, but it is quite puzzling.  I have heard that Qatar has more new cars sold per capita than other countries, but I don't have access to that research to back up that rumor.

2.  Qatar is all about how things look.  There is a lot of effort put into making the city look like a paradise in this harsh desert.  Thousands of workers make sure the roundabouts are immaculately in bloom and splendor with everything watered and manicured.  There are even spots in the city where, instead of bothersome grass, there is astroturf and workers are often seen vacuuming said astroturf to keep it looking as much like fake grass as possible.  And if you happen to be walking around the Aspire Zone you might hear the music of sweet birds singing, only there are no trees and no visible birdlife in the area.  So where is the birdsong coming from?  Well, the sound system, of course!

3.  And speaking of parks and walking areas, if you go to Aspire Park, be prepared to have security officers following you around and asking your children not to run in certain areas, throw balls in certain areas, and be too loud.  They are very strict about the kind of fun families can have at the park.  But the ironic thing is that they don't care if children ride their bikes down a very steep hill at full speed and crash at the bottom on the paved walking area.  And if you are single, forget about hanging out at the park.

Can you see the security guard behind us lecturing the children?  Another carefree day at the park.

4.  When we became expats in Qatar in 2008 obtaining a driver's license involved getting a passport photo taken (I blinked the first time and caused some frustration to the not-so-patient Arabic photographer), going to a filthy government office where there were lots of smoking men, having an eye exam with instructions in Arabic, and then watching as our company liaison officer Mohammad Ali convinced the smoking men that I had great eye sight and they should issue my driver's license.

The very next year things changed for Americans.  The rumor said that there was a member of the Qatari royal family who was denied an American driver's license, so as retribution, all Americans, after that, were put through the rigorous paces of a written exam and then a driving exam.  I've heard that the driving exam is horrible and no matter how well you do you automatically fail the first time, and then on the second try, you must execute driving maneuvers without any English instructions.  Also, if you have teenagers, they must wait until age 18 to take the driving exam and they are especially tough on American teenagers.  I know one young man who took the test three or four times, failing each time even though he is a very good driver with a U.S. license.

5.  In Qatar the rules do not apply to everyone.  For example, we went to the Cat Stevens concert last weekend and as we were going through security they wanted us to leave our very expensive camera with them and claim it after the concert.  I saw a pile of camera bags in the grass behind the security table.  I asked if they were confiscating all cameras and phones.  The security woman said, "Well, no, only big cameras."  "So people can take pictures with small cameras and phones?!" was my next question.  She said, "Yes, of course."

We asked for a receipt but they did not have any such system in place for this.  We refused to leave the camera and asked to talk to someone in charge.  Another couple was waiting for the same reason.  When a western-looking man came over to talk to us he told us that Yusef Islam (Cat Stevens) had requested that no close photographs be taken and if we were caught using our camera, we would be asked to leave. So we didn't get any inside photos or recordings of the great music, but at least we got to enjoy being around everyone else who was zooming in on Yusef Islam's beard and getting those great shots for their blogs.

Cat Stevens concert stage - as close as we could get with our LARGE camera outside the case

6.  There are A LOT of men in Qatar.  Most of them are expat workers who wear blue jumpsuits and travel around in buses from building site to first class accommodations - NOT (Qatar is on the International Human Rights Watch List).  While these men are working and traveling in their buses, they are usually staring at ANY women or girls who come into their view, especially if those women or girls have blonde hair and light skin.  It is unnerving, to say the least.  The first year we were here Abbey would bring a shayla in the car and practically make a tent for herself so she wouldn't have to see the staring faces.  At first I told her to ignore them, then I told her to stare back, then I just gave in to the shayla.  I still get uncomfortable with the staring, but I have learned to stare back and try to communicate non-verbally that what they are doing is impolite.

Someone told me that many of these men come from homes in Nepal or India where the only women they interact with are their mothers or sisters and many of them have never even seen white women.  After I heard that I was a little more tolerant, but last week when the painters at our compound would stop what they were doing, turn around on the scaffolding and stare at me the whole way down the street as I walked the dog, I had to ask the manager to remind his workers that they were being very rude.  Sadly, it didn't help much.

7.  There is a Film City, Qatar, and yes, part of one of the Transformers movies was filmed there.  At least that is the rumor.  You tell me if you think it is true.

 Notice the satellite dishes on the right - handy for Bedouin movie night

 And the movie night will be comfortably cool with these babies

 I think that is Josh Duhamel's underwear on that clothesline.

 Re-enacting the battle scene

 The oasis had hundreds of monarch butterflies

8.  Whatever you do, don't eat raw cookie dough.  You don't want to fight the salmonella monster like we did in 2009.

9.  The other day I saw a photo on Facebook of a Qatar road sign that said, "Beware of Road Surprises" and the photographer had captioned it with, "Only in Qatar does this sign make perfect sense."  Yes, if you move here you must be prepared for road surprises by the hundreds EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Those would include the road construction (it is called ROAD WORKS here), terrible drivers, huge cement trucks monopolizing the road, and plenty of Grand Canyon-like pot holes that all of a sudden get filled and then are blocked off with cinder blocks and boards - you know instead of those silly orange cone-shaped things.

And speaking of surprises on the road:

 I think this truck was on its way to a production of "Once Upon a Mattress".

10.  When you buy produce at the local Carrefour, Giant Store, or LuLu make sure and get it weighed and priced in the produce area.  It took me quite awhile to get used to standing in line in the produce area to have my apples put on the scale and given a bar coded sticker before heading to the cashier at the front of the store.  There were plenty of oranges and potatoes that I just left behind at the cashier when they were held up for ridicule when found without the appropriate price sticker.  Again, in Qatar I have learned to let my shopping list and my to-do list go unchecked many times.

Other posts on moving to Qatar

A Reminder From Afton

A couple of weeks ago I was sick and feeling generally down, and not just because I was sick.  Doha Days can sometimes stretch into Doha weeks around here.  If you don't know what I am talking about, you haven't lived in Doha.  I don't think I possess the vocabulary skills for describing exactly what Doha Days are like except to say that there are days here when the bland color of Qatar beige chews at your soul and suddenly hope is some distant concept that is then replaced by resignation, surrender, and the waving of an emotional white flag.

So it was on one of my many Doha Days that my neighbor and friend Afton dropped by with these flowers.  She was apologetic for disturbing me and apologetic that the lilies hadn't opened yet but promised me they would.  I thanked her as well as I could, being shocked into the realization that color and hope still existed and they had just been handed to me in a bouquet. Afton walked out my door not knowing the ripples of her delivery.

Almost instantly I felt the flutters of expectation and renewal.  Flowers can be such a frivolous purchase when we get them for ourselves, but as I received this simple gift from a thoughtful friend, the blossoms of life returned to my heart and I felt gratitude flood the bland thought diet I had been existing on.  I began feasting on the nuances of my many blessings and shook off the lethargy of depression.  Thanks, Afton.  Your flowers hung around for a long time, and the lilies DID bloom into fragrant floral paintings that let me find myself in more glorious landscapes than the sandstorms on the horizon.  And Afton, thanks for being a continuous reminder of all that is good in this world.

Modern Art Museum Qatar

Have you heard of Mathaf?  It is the new museum of modern art in Qatar and we finally paid a visit.  I wasn't expecting much, because, well, this is Qatar, but I wasn't disappointed.  It is a great diversion for the art, color, and culture-starved population of Doha.  It is located just outside of Education City, so there's no need to pass through any official looking gate and leave your I.D.; you can just drive into the small, empty parking lot, like we did, and get your fill of pointillism, impressionism, and abstractism (and yes, those are all words in the high-falootin art world).  The best part of the whole experience is that it is free, so you are only spending your time, and to me, it is worth it.  You can visit the website here to get more specifics and see a video about the museum.

From the looks of the photo above, Mathaf is not much to look at, but when you drive into the compound and walk across the parking lot, this is what you see.

The Guardian of the Fertile Crescent by Ismail Fattah (deceased) and finished by Ali Nouri.

 Al-Safina (the ship) by Adam Henein

The outer courtyard seems very Egyptian-esque in its presentation but maybe there are some baby Stonehenge influences as well.

In the lobby of the museum there are gigantic paintings of the Qatari emir Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani and his wife Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser Al-Missned by Yan Pei-Ming.  They are impressive and Brett really liked the style the artist used.  They are one of the few items I was allowed to photograph, so I can share them here:

Another lobby exhibit:

Another appeal of this museum is that it isn't so big that the amount of art to investigate is overwhelming.  We spent maybe 90 minutes and had a quick look at all the exhibits.  If Abbey hadn't been with us we might have spent a little more time, but her opinion was, and I quote, "This is just a quick glance museum."

Yes, even the signage was artsy!

Because photography of the exhibits is not allowed, I cannot give you any visuals from the other exhibits but I thought they were interesting and inspiring.  It is great to see Middle Eastern artists being recognized in this way.  The local culture seems so mired in tradition that it was refreshing to see some more contemporary interpretations of the Middle East.

As we left, we again enjoyed the outer courtyard, but this time in the dwindling sunlight.  The setting sun gave it a whole new look.  And just as the desert breathes a sigh of relief as twilight approaches, so did we, having had our artistic cups filled with a few more drops of local culture.