A Letter to My Blogging Novice Self on the Occasion of 100,000 Page Views

It has been almost a year since my last blog post. There are very good reasons for that, that I don't wish to share here, but I thought today deserved a closing chapter. I noticed that, as of this hour, there have been 100,438 views of my blog since I started it on August 6, 2007. I am surprised and pleased about that amount but also realistic. My writing has improved over the course of my posts, but I'm pretty sure that isn't the reason there are over 100,000 views. My experience in Qatar has a lot to do with most of the hits on some of my entries. It was an interesting adventure living in the Middle East and writing about my interactions with a first ever (and probably last) expat assignment. I've often been good at noticing the subtle ironies of a situation, so Doha was this observer's dream. I found a lot of writing material, and as I look at the stats of my posts, those are definitely the ones capturing the most attention.

But I certainly didn't start my blog so I could write about the up-and-coming star of the Middle East, Qatar. If someone would have told me that day that in a year's time I would be recording my thoughts on smelly camels, crazy drivers, and the plight of the immigrant work force in the tiny country of Qatar, I would have said they were speaking of impossibilities, but that is exactly what happened.

Before that though, I wanted to awaken my long ago writing skills of my college days. My blog began with a desire to write again and have some small audience to speak to. I wanted to express my voice in a way I seldom have the opportunity to do in a verbal setting. Thank you to those of you who have been reading from the beginning. You are kind and have such brilliant taste about what you spend your time with! ;)

So to commemorate this writing adventure and those readers who have carved out time to validate my offerings, I would like to sum up some of the learning that has taken place in my heart, as well as my head as I have blogged. If I could go back and speak to myself on that blog kick-off day, I would have a lot of advice, a lot of warnings, and a lot of compassion for the internet novice I was.

That was then . . . . 

Dear Dianna,

Your excitement in starting this writing adventure is well-placed and worthwhile. Make sure you enjoy every minute of putting your thoughts out there on the internet, and make sure you have something worth reading about. Here are some points to ponder, wisdom of a seasoned blogger, that you might want to consider each time you sit down to post.

1. Publishing your writing comes with risks.

2. Writing creates decisions, opinions, and passions in a writer AND in a reader. They are necessary and important on both sides, but not always embraced, understood, or praised by the readers who are removed and hidden by the invisible internet curtain. Blog writing is a performance of one that captures a few moments of clarity and insight but prolongs or even denies the inevitable audience reaction in a painfully tormenting way at times. And the reactions are not always universal applause.

3. Just like a wailing baby's cry in a movie theater can disrupt a contented, thoroughly entertained audience, a strident writing piece (or any piece for that matter) can disturb tranquil reader/writer relationships and cause discord that often can't be harmonized ever again. Retractions are part of a writer's job and can smooth some flustered feathers so forgiveness can be forthcoming. So you might want to consider keeping some of those powerful posts to yourself - posts that speak truth and ahh-ha moments to your own soul but are misunderstood and used as relationship walls for others. That is why on this blog wrap-up day you will have many writing revelations in cold storage.

4. Even though one of the purposes of your blog is to allow others to know you better, they might not be ready for that all at once. Just like you often say awkward things in social situations, some of your blog pieces will make readers uncomfortable. That's okay though. Make sure you include humorous, life-flavored pieces more often than the internal dialogue ones. Let your readers see your lighter side. They might not understand that either, but at least you will be developing your different writing voices.

5. The risks are worth it, so get writing, and always remember your audience.

I've now come to a phase in my life where I need less of an audience and more of an internal coach who can be kind and gentle to my aging self. Opening up on the internet brought me a lot of joy, but now it is time to find other joys that are not so public, joys that are more bittersweet and more precious than my writing skills can describe.

. . . this is now.

Our Qatar Exit

This last March Brett received a terrible birthday present.  He was visiting Finland with a group of students on a work assignment.  On his birthday the students all wanted to experience the snow up close and personal so they went sledding.  Well Brett wanted to celebrate a little and decided to join them.  He promptly crashed, hit his head, and woke up the beast he had been fighting for years:  long-standing back and neck pain from long ago injuries.  When he got home, life got very difficult in Qatar.  The medical system there is chaotic, confusing, and behind the times, especially when it comes to managing pain.  It took him a month just to get in for an MRI (thank goodness there was no serious head injury) and another month to see the specialist and have him tell him that physical therapy is all they could offer him.  Because he had aggravated an already existing condition that he had had for years, the pain in Brett's neck and back was so constant and so debilitating he couldn't even think of attempting physical therapy.

That's when we realized he might have to live with the pain for months before getting home to the states and then we were in for a complicated summer.  We would have to get him home, in to see a specialist, and repeat this whole process.  We tried to set up appointments from Qatar via Skype but getting the MRI results from the Qatar doctor and then sending them to the specialist in Utah took weeks.  My health had really gone down hill since moving to Doha so I knew I needed some TLC from my team of health care professionals too.  The more we talked and thought about what would be required to happen this summer the more we realized that our summer might have to be extended.  We probably wouldn't make it back in time for VCUQ's fall term or for Abbey's start of school at ASD.

Expat life is tricky.  There are so many things to consider when health issues come up.  We knew that home in Utah would be the best place for us to get the medical care that we both needed, but Brett's job is in Qatar.  Abbey was just finishing up 5th grade at ASD and was excited about the prospects of middle school and 6th grade.  As Brett's pain increased and his ability to even work part of the day lessened we had to make some decisions.

In the middle of all this VCUQ informed Brett that VCU in Virginia didn't want to take on the liability of signing villa leases in Qatar anymore and so we would have to take a personal financial risk by signing the villa lease ourselves - not what we wanted to do.  Brett asked when the lease would be up and when the human resources department checked, it was up that day, the day Brett was sitting in the office hearing this for the first time.  There have been other surprising issues come up at VCUQ over the years that have not been conducive to a peaceful life in a very unnerving country so this wasn't as big of a surprise at it could have been, but it seemed to be the tipping point.  In addition, even though Brett was enjoying working with students and faculty and researching in the Interior Design Department, he was getting anxious to get back to architecture and design. (VCU eventually relented and signed a year's lease for everyone when the dean made a trip to Virginia for her annual pow wow, but by then we had made our decision to just find another villa when and if we came back to Qatar.)

So with all of these issues stacking up, and others I cannot mention here, there seemed to be many arrows pointing us toward the Qatar exit signs.  So we got on our knees and turned to the Lord.  The final answer has come slowly over the summer, but we felt then that we should get ready for whatever was to come. So we began to make tentative/unofficial plans to move home.  Breaking the news of the possible move home to Abbey was easier than we had thought.  She was sad for awhile about the possibility of leaving friends and especially the leaving ASD and be in middle school, but surprisingly, she was the most energetic as we made preparations for all contingencies.  Only the summer would tell us if we were leaving Qatar for good or if we would be back for a fifth year.

We began selling things:  cars, bikes, electronics and household goods we had purchased, clothing, and the enormous amount of odds and ends we had accumulated over four years.  We told close friends and neighbors that we were moving because our lease was up, because that is all we knew for sure.  We had to wait until Brett saw the neurosurgeon in Utah to know what was in store for us in the fall.  We left the door open for us to come back, because truthfully, we didn't know if he would be recovering from back surgery, if he could be helped with simply the right medication, or if he could even find another job if medical issues forced us to stay home.  When it came right down to it though, we purchased one way tickets home to Utah because if we had an extended summer, Abbey would have to start school in Utah anyway and then we would be in Utah at least until Christmas.

Three days before flying home, Brett received an email from a former co-worker.  Chad wanted to let Brett know that the boss at his former architecture firm had mentioned that he wanted to hire a head designer and lead architect and he had mentioned Brett's name.  There was a series of emails back and forth and then when we arrived in Utah, the emails turned to phone calls, which turned to an interview, salary negotiations, and then a job offer.  Brett accepted the offer because he wasn't sure how we were going to pay for all the medical bills, especially if surgery was down the road.  We felt like the Lord's hand was in all of this so we couldn't wait around for the medical decisions to be finalized.  We had to move forward on faith.

Because it was such a long and involved process for him to even get in to see the neurosurgeon who had been recommended by several friends, Brett finally saw him a few days before starting his new job.  The neurosurgeon wanted to take a conservative approach to Brett's injury and recommended physical therapy, traction, and a series of cortisone injections.  It was clearly going to be a chronic condition that could not be solved in a matter of months. Because our family doctor and the neurosurgeon were managing Brett's pain with the correct medications, this seemed possible and hopeful but not quick enough to make working in Qatar a reality.  Brett gradually was able to work a full day and came home smiling and happy from feeling so at home at the office and having the ability to create again.  The decision seemed to be making itself.  Qatar couldn't offer him or me the kind of medical care we need, a new job had fallen into Brett's lap, and we have been feeling blessed beyond measure, in spite of the difficulties.

So saying good bye to Doha means that we say good bye to some great friends we have made during our adventure.  It means a tighter income and a lot less travel.  It means less family time with Brett now that he is working regular office hours and all through the summer.  Being a professor at VCUQ has had its perks but Brett and our family earned every perk, believe me.  With all the amenities comes a lot of expat chaos that can tear a family apart or bind them together like never before.  I think the latter has happened to us, thankfully.  We have put up with the heat, humidity, and the driving insanity.  We have had to hold our tongues and smile instead of complain and scream for some common sense to be used in every day life.  We have been able to laugh at the amusing clash of cultures and have sorrow for those inequalities that still exist in this so-called modern world.

The workers of Qatar will be my favorite take home memory from our time in the Middle East.  To see the hard working faces of the Filipino, Indian, Nepali, and Sri Lankan workers in the unbearable 118 degree heat with 80% humidity, and know that they feel lucky to have a job so they can send a small amount of money home to family is humbling.  To watch the masses of working men walking around near the old souq on a Friday afternoon, trying to enjoy their one day off, is overwhelming, especially thinking about all the wives and children some have had to leave in their home countries and might not see for years.  Whenever I saw the brilliant smile of our guards as they waved us into our compound it gave me courage to face my trials with a brave face. To look into the sweet face of the woman who cleaned for us each week and see the beginnings of trust develop between us made my heart hope, hope for a more civilized universe where everyone is treated with love and dignity.  And to see a friend's Nepali nanny take a giant step forward in her life by being baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, see her learn to drive a car, see her meet a Mormon man online and get engaged, then to see her marry him in Nepal with all the brilliant oranges and reds of a Hindu wedding was unforgettable and life-changing.  These are just some of the miracles of our Qatar adventure.

Another Interesting Irony of the Middle East

Every time we come back to the U.S. for the summer I feel very pampered to be able to purchase my favorite deodorant - Secret, the strong enough for a man but made for a woman product.  Brett's deodorant of choice is also a U.S. indulgence - Sure.

So why is it that one of the hottest places on earth doesn't have the two best deodorants in the world?  And believe me, the hard working, terribly sweaty people in the Middle East could really use these two American wonder products.  The overwhelming scents that confronted my newly immigrated nose in Qatar were . . . well . . . offensive to be perfectly honest.  The Proctor and Gamble folks really have not tapped into the most stinkified market known to mankind.  If I was an enterprising entrepreneur I would definitely get some meetings going with the Innovative Brands people and the P&G execs to convince them of the sadly neglected personal hygiene of the people of the Middle East and the desperate need for them to infiltrate Qatar's store shelves with what could potentially be the most welcome invasion ever.

Moving to Qatar? Another Tutorial

I haven't traveled to many places in this world, but from what I hear and from personal experience, I think Qatar is a very unique country.  It is a place where you can bump up against a wide variety of cultures, literally, as in the unpleasant traffic kind of way, and figuratively, as in the beautiful smile and head wag of the Indian woman who rang up my groceries today.  Qatar is populated primarily by expats.  Everywhere you look you will see Sri Lankans, Indians, Pakistanis, Australians, Americans, Filipinos, and the list could go on and on.  There are more than 1.7 million people in this tiny country but only a small fraction are full-fledged citizens. Yes, there are Qataris but they make up only 20% of the population.

1.  As you drive around Doha you will notice that there are thousands of new cars, at least that's what they seem to be because the plastic from the car factory is still on the seats.  Well, let's just say that the owners of these cars like to hang on to that "new car smell" as long as possible and leave the factory plastic in place until it is in shreds.  They also like to leave the factory identification papers on the windows too.  You will also notice that when the factory plastic wears off, many Land Cruiser owners will have custom plastic put on the seats.  I haven't been able to understand the logic behind it, but it is quite puzzling.  I have heard that Qatar has more new cars sold per capita than other countries, but I don't have access to that research to back up that rumor.

2.  Qatar is all about how things look.  There is a lot of effort put into making the city look like a paradise in this harsh desert.  Thousands of workers make sure the roundabouts are immaculately in bloom and splendor with everything watered and manicured.  There are even spots in the city where, instead of bothersome grass, there is astroturf and workers are often seen vacuuming said astroturf to keep it looking as much like fake grass as possible.  And if you happen to be walking around the Aspire Zone you might hear the music of sweet birds singing, only there are no trees and no visible birdlife in the area.  So where is the birdsong coming from?  Well, the sound system, of course!

3.  And speaking of parks and walking areas, if you go to Aspire Park, be prepared to have security officers following you around and asking your children not to run in certain areas, throw balls in certain areas, and be too loud.  They are very strict about the kind of fun families can have at the park.  But the ironic thing is that they don't care if children ride their bikes down a very steep hill at full speed and crash at the bottom on the paved walking area.  And if you are single, forget about hanging out at the park.

Can you see the security guard behind us lecturing the children?  Another carefree day at the park.

4.  When we became expats in Qatar in 2008 obtaining a driver's license involved getting a passport photo taken (I blinked the first time and caused some frustration to the not-so-patient Arabic photographer), going to a filthy government office where there were lots of smoking men, having an eye exam with instructions in Arabic, and then watching as our company liaison officer Mohammad Ali convinced the smoking men that I had great eye sight and they should issue my driver's license.

The very next year things changed for Americans.  The rumor said that there was a member of the Qatari royal family who was denied an American driver's license, so as retribution, all Americans, after that, were put through the rigorous paces of a written exam and then a driving exam.  I've heard that the driving exam is horrible and no matter how well you do you automatically fail the first time, and then on the second try, you must execute driving maneuvers without any English instructions.  Also, if you have teenagers, they must wait until age 18 to take the driving exam and they are especially tough on American teenagers.  I know one young man who took the test three or four times, failing each time even though he is a very good driver with a U.S. license.

5.  In Qatar the rules do not apply to everyone.  For example, we went to the Cat Stevens concert last weekend and as we were going through security they wanted us to leave our very expensive camera with them and claim it after the concert.  I saw a pile of camera bags in the grass behind the security table.  I asked if they were confiscating all cameras and phones.  The security woman said, "Well, no, only big cameras."  "So people can take pictures with small cameras and phones?!" was my next question.  She said, "Yes, of course."

We asked for a receipt but they did not have any such system in place for this.  We refused to leave the camera and asked to talk to someone in charge.  Another couple was waiting for the same reason.  When a western-looking man came over to talk to us he told us that Yusef Islam (Cat Stevens) had requested that no close photographs be taken and if we were caught using our camera, we would be asked to leave. So we didn't get any inside photos or recordings of the great music, but at least we got to enjoy being around everyone else who was zooming in on Yusef Islam's beard and getting those great shots for their blogs.

Cat Stevens concert stage - as close as we could get with our LARGE camera outside the case

6.  There are A LOT of men in Qatar.  Most of them are expat workers who wear blue jumpsuits and travel around in buses from building site to first class accommodations - NOT (Qatar is on the International Human Rights Watch List).  While these men are working and traveling in their buses, they are usually staring at ANY women or girls who come into their view, especially if those women or girls have blonde hair and light skin.  It is unnerving, to say the least.  The first year we were here Abbey would bring a shayla in the car and practically make a tent for herself so she wouldn't have to see the staring faces.  At first I told her to ignore them, then I told her to stare back, then I just gave in to the shayla.  I still get uncomfortable with the staring, but I have learned to stare back and try to communicate non-verbally that what they are doing is impolite.

Someone told me that many of these men come from homes in Nepal or India where the only women they interact with are their mothers or sisters and many of them have never even seen white women.  After I heard that I was a little more tolerant, but last week when the painters at our compound would stop what they were doing, turn around on the scaffolding and stare at me the whole way down the street as I walked the dog, I had to ask the manager to remind his workers that they were being very rude.  Sadly, it didn't help much.

7.  There is a Film City, Qatar, and yes, part of one of the Transformers movies was filmed there.  At least that is the rumor.  You tell me if you think it is true.

 Notice the satellite dishes on the right - handy for Bedouin movie night

 And the movie night will be comfortably cool with these babies

 I think that is Josh Duhamel's underwear on that clothesline.

 Re-enacting the battle scene

 The oasis had hundreds of monarch butterflies

8.  Whatever you do, don't eat raw cookie dough.  You don't want to fight the salmonella monster like we did in 2009.

9.  The other day I saw a photo on Facebook of a Qatar road sign that said, "Beware of Road Surprises" and the photographer had captioned it with, "Only in Qatar does this sign make perfect sense."  Yes, if you move here you must be prepared for road surprises by the hundreds EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Those would include the road construction (it is called ROAD WORKS here), terrible drivers, huge cement trucks monopolizing the road, and plenty of Grand Canyon-like pot holes that all of a sudden get filled and then are blocked off with cinder blocks and boards - you know instead of those silly orange cone-shaped things.

And speaking of surprises on the road:

 I think this truck was on its way to a production of "Once Upon a Mattress".

10.  When you buy produce at the local Carrefour, Giant Store, or LuLu make sure and get it weighed and priced in the produce area.  It took me quite awhile to get used to standing in line in the produce area to have my apples put on the scale and given a bar coded sticker before heading to the cashier at the front of the store.  There were plenty of oranges and potatoes that I just left behind at the cashier when they were held up for ridicule when found without the appropriate price sticker.  Again, in Qatar I have learned to let my shopping list and my to-do list go unchecked many times.

Other posts on moving to Qatar

Ten MORE Things You Should Know About Qatar Before Moving Here

We have been living in Qatar since August of 2008 so that almost makes us veterans in the expat scene.  The most difficult part of this life (and there are quite a few) would have to be the good byes.  We have said good bye to so many good friends and continue to do that way too much.  Having said that, our short time here almost qualifies us as experts in this country.  Unfortunately, it also makes us notice the unusual, quirky, or remarkable aspects of life here less often.

Over the last few weeks I have tried to attune my eyes and ears to that of the new expat once again.  I don't want to ever get complacent about the experience we are having.  I want to always be able to notice the crazy signs and get indignant and moved by the vast social inequalities around me.  So here is another edition of what you should know about this country before jumping in to its culture as a full-fledged immigrant.  Now keep in mind that I am writing from an American expat perspective and one whose first overseas experience (we hadn't even vacationed outside the U.S. before) was moving to Qatar.

1.  There are only a few places in this world where you can tell how hot it is outside by getting in the shower and feeing the temperature of the "cold" water.

2.  Going into a public restroom is always an adventure in Qatar and you might just want to take some fishing waders with you.  Now this might be an indelicate subject, one to steer clear of when blogging on a public website, but no, I want to save someone the shock and surprise that we experienced when we found ourselves outside of the "modern" restroom environments we were used to.

So why are waders necessary?  Well, in order to accommodate those folks who are used to a nice bidet, without actually providing one, the "Restroom Board of Trustees" for this part of the world have instituted spray hoses that are conveniently placed right next to the toilets so that those who want to can have a refreshing "spray down" after they have done their business.  And why is this a problem?  Well, the floor, toilet seat, flushing handle, and the walls end up wet and covered with . . . well the personal germs of the hundreds of people who sat there before.  Yes, there is a drain on the floor but there is plenty of residual collateral damage and it ends up on the bottom of my pants after I pull them down (sorry for the graphic language) and anything else that must touch the areas described above.  This isn't anything that would be solved by a hygienic toilet seat cover either.  It would require a mop, bucket, and plenty of disinfectant.  I try to wipe things down on our visits now, but to do it properly would require A LOT of tissue, and sometimes that isn't so plentiful.  Make sure and carry your own at ALL TIMES.

Soon after we moved here, Brett, Abbey, and I were attempting one of our first grocery store visits to Carrefour, and half way through our wide-eyed hunt for food, Abbey told me she had to go to the bathroom.  She was seven at the time so I couldn't expect her to hold it very long, so we ventured out of the store and into the Landmark mall to find the facilities.  When we finally located them, the first door in the Ladies Room that I opened revealed this:

Needless to say, Abbey was not too keen on squatting (neither was I), so thinking that all the toilets were similar, we left.  I grabbed Brett, we left our trolley full of groceries, and we made a beeline for home.  It wasn't until later that I learned that there are two options in the restrooms.  If I had opened the next door I would have found this, which is slightly more agreeable to our western persuasions:

Below is the type of facilities that are found in the villas we have lived in.  Most have separate bidets, but some smaller bathrooms have the hose squirter thing - something I only ever associated with a kitchen sink before coming here.  And by the way, don't expect your kitchen sink to have a garbage disposal.  They are a bit of an oddity here.  The noisy toilet paper holders are a big pain because the metal cover's purpose is to protect the toilet paper from getting wet but all it really does is prevent the user from getting a real grip on the paper.  Another bit of info is that there are seldom real live bathtubs in the bathrooms.  Of course showers are more water conservation friendly, so many villas are sans tubs.  Some of my friends have had to plug the shower drain and let the water fill up the bottom of the shower so they could soak the dirt out of the fingernails and toenails of their little ones - ingenuity always pays off as an expat!  (I will tell about using a toothpick and some gum to hang a wall clock on another post sometime.)

A bit cleaner, right?

3.  I have always enjoyed going to the movie, but when we moved here we were warned that it was a very different experience, one that could equal a combat experience or at the very least a day in junior high.  First of all, there is no reliable place to find out what movies are playing where and when.  It is true that the movie timings (that is another word from this part of the world used in place of times) and selections are printed in the newspaper, and there is one movie theater with a website, but the published movies and times are seldom what is actually happening at the theater.  The only reliable way to know this information is to actually go to the theater and buy the tickets.  Even then, Qatar is highly changeable.

Another aspect to the Qatar movie experience is the amount of young men who go to the movie but don't really care to actually watch the movie.  I have sat in many movies with men in thobes behind us talking on their phones and to each other with no quiet consideration at all.  Because they go to movies repeatedly, they are seldom interested in the details of the plot so they use their movie time to catch up on their text messages and phone conversations.  But they will gladly reveal plot surprises ahead of time for you.  And it isn't just three or four young men who do this.  It is most of them.

One time Brett took me to a movie for our anniversary and the talking was so loud that I had to speak up and ask the men politely to be quiet.  (Brett avoids confrontation at all costs.) They didn't comply and almost got louder, so loud that we really couldn't follow the movie.  We left and complained to the management.  They wanted us to go back in with them and point out the men who were being disruptive.  Now, because we live in a country with the most entitled individuals around, we really didn't want to participate in an impromptu line-up, so we asked if we could just go to a later showing.  They agreed but it wasn't an easy process.  When we sat down for the next showing the theater was again full of noisy young men, and before too long someone had thrown a half empty bucket of popcorn on my head.

So the moral to this story is that you should definitely bring your own DVD collection with you to Qatar because even if the difficult evening traffic and large crowds weren't a factor, the movie experience is pretty iffy here and expensive to boot.  Now, if we do go to the movie, we try to go in the daylight hours and avoid the vampire society that rules the night scene here.

4.  Fresh fruits and vegetables go bad quickly in Qatar.  Bananas last only about two days before they are spotted and ready for the banana bread recipe.  Gone are the days when I could buy two weeks worth of groceries and pull out a tomato from the fridge on day 12 and have it still be nice and firm.  I don't know if it is because most of the produce comes such a long distance to get here or if they just don't use preservative sprays or artificial hormonal stuff like they use in the U.S. (which could actually be a good thing) but it makes for a very complicated way of obtaining fresh ingredients.

5.  Speaking of food, even boxed items are not guaranteed to be fresh here.  There are many times when I have purchased boxed cereal with the use by date still in effect, but somehow the cereal just tastes wrong. I don't know if it has to do with how the products are transported, but sometimes I can just taste a chemical smell.  It could be all in my head, but because the Middle East is full of oil fields, sometimes I just smell oil when I open that box of Corn Flakes that may or may not have been part of an oil tanker's cargo.

6.  As an expat, I continue to meet new people.  Unfortunately, I seldom meet any Qataris.  Brett is lucky because he gets to know some of them through his teaching position at VCUQ but me, my circle of influence is limited.  Even though I don't socialize with the local crowd, I do get to meet many different types of people from all over the world.  When we moved here I was unaware of a widespread custom of greeting when being introduced to new people:  the double kiss

My first big goof with this was when I met the sister of one of my neighbors.  Felicity's sister Mel had just moved to Qatar from England, and when Felicity introduced us, Mel drew close to me as if to hug me but instead went for the double air kiss on each side of my face.  Because I thought we were hugging I drew up a little too closely for her comfort and half hugged, half kissed Mel in introduction.  I was totally awkward and stiff with this bungled greeting, and even though Mel was gracious and kind about it, I felt like a total dork.

This custom of saying hello still seems to allude me, so as I meet with friends from around the world, they just continue to be patient and indulgent with me because they know me now and know that I am awkward even in my own culture, doing my own kind of hello.

7.  I've heard Qataris described as the rednecks of the Middle East - kind of the Arabic Beverly Hillbillies if you will.  I think that description comes from the fact that they are relatively new to their seemingly endless wealth and they love their double-wide trailers out by the dunes where they can try out their latest, "Look what I can do!" with their vehicle of choice.  Along with that derogatory nickname comes the overwhelming desire to disprove it and it seems like the Qatari powers that be (Sheikah Mozzah) are determined to make Qatar the cultural capital of this region.  They are spending enormous amounts of money to make this a reality.  The Museum of Islamic Art is one example of this.  It is a beautifully expensive structure, designed by I.M Pei, which totally outshines the art within, so they seem to be operating under the Field of Dreams mantra of "If you build it, they will come."  Now with the World Cup 2022 being awarded to Qatar the projects going on here are almost unbelievable.  While some people have started to describe Dubai as the Las Vegas of the region they now say Doha is becoming the Manhattan of the Middle East.

This mantra has made this city a very interesting place to be with a lot of enrichment going on.  Katara is a  reproduction of a Qatari village but it has big events of affluence and prestige that happen there.  Just this weekend it was host to the Doha Tribeca Film Festival.  We were lucky enough to get some tickets from VCUQ, but people come from all over the world to attend, and boy was the red carpet out - literally and figuratively.

This is the film we saw.  It was so good and really touched my German heart.

The film's directors/screenwriters, who are sisters and wrote this semi-autobiographical script, and two of the actors.

8.  Many of the local fast food restaurants have boxes of tissues at each table instead of paper napkins and that is what you are supposed to use. It seems to be a Middle Eastern thing because they did it in Jordan as well.

9.  I must say something about the driving conditions here.  I've heard it was worse before we arrived, but that is unimaginable.  I've heard that it is worse in India or Nepal, but when I am driving on D-Ring Road and a Landcruiser flashes its lights behind me signaling me to get over, the panic in my heart tells me it couldn't be worse anywhere.

I have seen a car at the side of a somewhat busy road that was cut in half from a recent accident.  In fact, smashed cars are a common sight as you drive these roads.  I have been in many close calls - MANY, but our family prayers each morning and evening have become very specific as we ask for protection from the the traffic issues we cannot control, and dare I say it, I haven't been in an accident yet.

One secret of safe driving here is to assume that you will be cut off, insulted, and totally ignored by other drivers.  Drivers as well as pedestrians move out into a lane and THEN look.  Another secret is to have a big car.  I thank my husband every day for letting me drive our Nissan Xterra so that I can have some "wasta" on the road.  He seems to do okay in our Honda Civic because he is a man and automatically receives more respect as a driver.  Women need a little more bulk to back up their driving here, so be prepared.

Another driving issue here is the amount of road construction that is going on.  Because they are busily preparing for the World Cup 2022 the city has exploded with projects.  They don't seem to be keeping track if people can actually get out of their compounds or to their work or schools.  There just is no forethought with project planning or even planning the roads.  A certain section of road will finally be finished and then they tear it up again because it needs a merging lane.  Why didn't they think of that before?!!  Then there is the "freeway" system here.  The exit lanes merge off in the same lane where there is an entrance lane just behind it.  People drive anywhere from 40 KMPH to 120 KMPH on this so called freeway so it can be very dangerous if I am trapped behind a very slow driver and then have a Qatari LandCruiser speed demon come up behind me with his lights flashing and there is no where to get over.

10.  Lastly, you should remember that a sense of humor is the most important quality to have in order to live happily in a place like this.  If you aren't able to laugh at some of the things that happen here, you are going to spend a lot of time crying and feeling frustrated.  With that said, there are those "Doha Days" when you just have to give up and wave the white flag.  You won't get all your to do list finished most days.  You won't be able to find that allen wrench you need to tighten the screws on your new table.  There isn't anything like Home Depot, Ace Hardware, or even Jiffy Lube here.  Nothing is jiffy or convenient.  This fact forces us to take things a little slower and often give in to the Qatari mentality that time is elastic.  So if you are moving here, remember your flexibility and bring it in large quantities.  You will need it in great supply to go along with your smiles at the ironies that fill this crazy country.