Saturday, September 22, 2012

Autumn Blessings


We are so happy, so peaceful about being home in Utah again after our four year adventure in Qatar.  We took some time today to enjoy the fall colors as we drove home from Provo via the Alpine Loop (which is where Robert Redford's Sundance is for all you non-locals).

It was so glorious to behold the beauty of autumn, and we were especially appreciative because we haven't seen the fall colors in person since 2007.  It was long overdue.  I marvel at what God has made for us to see.  Enjoy these beautiful shots, especially those of you in the Middle East who have been on a fall fast for awhile like we have.


 I think there is a hawk in the distance in this one.




Friday, September 7, 2012

Our Qatar Exit


This last March Brett received a terrible birthday present.  He was visiting Finland with a group of students on a work assignment.  On his birthday the students all wanted to experience the snow up close and personal so they went sledding.  Well Brett wanted to celebrate a little and decided to join them.  He promptly crashed, hit his head, and woke up the beast he had been fighting for years:  long-standing back and neck pain from long ago injuries.  When he got home, life got very difficult in Qatar.  The medical system there is chaotic, confusing, and behind the times, especially when it comes to managing pain.  It took him a month just to get in for an MRI (thank goodness there was no serious head injury) and another month to see the specialist and have him tell him that physical therapy is all they could offer him.  Because he had aggravated an already existing condition that he had had for years, the pain in Brett's neck and back was so constant and so debilitating he couldn't even think of attempting physical therapy.

That's when we realized he might have to live with the pain for months before getting home to the states and then we were in for a complicated summer.  We would have to get him home, in to see a specialist, and repeat this whole process.  We tried to set up appointments from Qatar via Skype but getting the MRI results from the Qatar doctor and then sending them to the specialist in Utah took weeks.  My health had really gone down hill since moving to Doha so I knew I needed some TLC from my team of health care professionals too.  The more we talked and thought about what would be required to happen this summer the more we realized that our summer might have to be extended.  We probably wouldn't make it back in time for VCUQ's fall term or for Abbey's start of school at ASD.

Expat life is tricky.  There are so many things to consider when health issues come up.  We knew that home in Utah would be the best place for us to get the medical care that we both needed, but Brett's job is in Qatar.  Abbey was just finishing up 5th grade at ASD and was excited about the prospects of middle school and 6th grade.  As Brett's pain increased and his ability to even work part of the day lessened we had to make some decisions.

In the middle of all this VCUQ informed Brett that VCU in Virginia didn't want to take on the liability of signing villa leases in Qatar anymore and so we would have to take a personal financial risk by signing the villa lease ourselves - not what we wanted to do.  Brett asked when the lease would be up and when the human resources department checked, it was up that day, the day Brett was sitting in the office hearing this for the first time.  There have been other surprising issues come up at VCUQ over the years that have not been conducive to a peaceful life in a very unnerving country so this wasn't as big of a surprise at it could have been, but it seemed to be the tipping point.  In addition, even though Brett was enjoying working with students and faculty and researching in the Interior Design Department, he was getting anxious to get back to architecture and design. (VCU eventually relented and signed a year's lease for everyone when the dean made a trip to Virginia for her annual pow wow, but by then we had made our decision to just find another villa when and if we came back to Qatar.)

So with all of these issues stacking up, and others I cannot mention here, there seemed to be many arrows pointing us toward the Qatar exit signs.  So we got on our knees and turned to the Lord.  The final answer has come slowly over the summer, but we felt then that we should get ready for whatever was to come. So we began to make tentative/unofficial plans to move home.  Breaking the news of the possible move home to Abbey was easier than we had thought.  She was sad for awhile about the possibility of leaving friends and especially the leaving ASD and be in middle school, but surprisingly, she was the most energetic as we made preparations for all contingencies.  Only the summer would tell us if we were leaving Qatar for good or if we would be back for a fifth year.

We began selling things:  cars, bikes, electronics and household goods we had purchased, clothing, and the enormous amount of odds and ends we had accumulated over four years.  We told close friends and neighbors that we were moving because our lease was up, because that is all we knew for sure.  We had to wait until Brett saw the neurosurgeon in Utah to know what was in store for us in the fall.  We left the door open for us to come back, because truthfully, we didn't know if he would be recovering from back surgery, if he could be helped with simply the right medication, or if he could even find another job if medical issues forced us to stay home.  When it came right down to it though, we purchased one way tickets home to Utah because if we had an extended summer, Abbey would have to start school in Utah anyway and then we would be in Utah at least until Christmas.

Three days before flying home, Brett received an email from a former co-worker.  Chad wanted to let Brett know that the boss at his former architecture firm had mentioned that he wanted to hire a head designer and lead architect and he had mentioned Brett's name.  There was a series of emails back and forth and then when we arrived in Utah, the emails turned to phone calls, which turned to an interview, salary negotiations, and then a job offer.  Brett accepted the offer because he wasn't sure how we were going to pay for all the medical bills, especially if surgery was down the road.  We felt like the Lord's hand was in all of this so we couldn't wait around for the medical decisions to be finalized.  We had to move forward on faith.

Because it was such a long and involved process for him to even get in to see the neurosurgeon who had been recommended by several friends, Brett finally saw him a few days before starting his new job.  The neurosurgeon wanted to take a conservative approach to Brett's injury and recommended physical therapy, traction, and a series of cortisone injections.  It was clearly going to be a chronic condition that could not be solved in a matter of months. Because our family doctor and the neurosurgeon were managing Brett's pain with the correct medications, this seemed possible and hopeful but not quick enough to make working in Qatar a reality.  Brett gradually was able to work a full day and came home smiling and happy from feeling so at home at the office and having the ability to create again.  The decision seemed to be making itself.  Qatar couldn't offer him or me the kind of medical care we need, a new job had fallen into Brett's lap, and we have been feeling blessed beyond measure, in spite of the difficulties.

So saying good bye to Doha means that we say good bye to some great friends we have made during our adventure.  It means a tighter income and a lot less travel.  It means less family time with Brett now that he is working regular office hours and all through the summer.  Being a professor at VCUQ has had its perks but Brett and our family earned every perk, believe me.  With all the amenities comes a lot of expat chaos that can tear a family apart or bind them together like never before.  I think the latter has happened to us, thankfully.  We have put up with the heat, humidity, and the driving insanity.  We have had to hold our tongues and smile instead of complain and scream for some common sense to be used in every day life.  We have been able to laugh at the amusing clash of cultures and have sorrow for those inequalities that still exist in this so-called modern world.

The workers of Qatar will be my favorite take home memory from our time in the Middle East.  To see the hard working faces of the Filipino, Indian, Nepali, and Sri Lankan workers in the unbearable 118 degree heat with 80% humidity, and know that they feel lucky to have a job so they can send a small amount of money home to family is humbling.  To watch the masses of working men walking around near the old souq on a Friday afternoon, trying to enjoy their one day off, is overwhelming, especially thinking about all the wives and children some have had to leave in their home countries and might not see for years.  Whenever I saw the brilliant smile of our guards as they waved us into our compound it gave me courage to face my trials with a brave face. To look into the sweet face of the woman who cleaned for us each week and see the beginnings of trust develop between us made my heart hope, hope for a more civilized universe where everyone is treated with love and dignity.  And to see a friend's Nepali nanny take a giant step forward in her life by being baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, see her learn to drive a car, see her meet a Mormon man online and get engaged, then to see her marry him in Nepal with all the brilliant oranges and reds of a Hindu wedding was unforgettable and life-changing.  These are just some of the miracles of our Qatar adventure.


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The First Day of 6th Grade

Abbey started 6th grade today at a charter school here in Davis County.  It was kind of an unexpected turn of events because I had totally forgotten about submitting her name to Wasatch Peak Academy at the beginning of the summer.  Abbey's long-time friend Cloe and her sisters attend Wasatch Peak and they love it, plus it has the stamp of approval from their mom Jacque.  I just thought I would submit Abbey's name and see what happened.  Then I forgot about it.

Well, last Wednesday afternoon, six days before school starts, I received a call from the secretary at Wasatch, asking if we were interested in an open spot in 6th grade.  I didn't know what to say, especially because we only had a few hours to make the decision.  I was told I could let the school know of our decision the next morning.

So we did our research, talked to Jacque and her girls and talked to other neighbors who work at our neighborhood school.  There was a lot of information to take in and sift through. It seemed like we couldn't go wrong either way.  When Brett got home from work the three of us put our heads together that night and discussed the pros and cons.  Brett and I knew that ultimately it would be Abbey's decision because, not only would she be going to a charter school and wearing a uniform every day, she would be starting over with this move home and was already pretty stressed about making new friends and feeling welcome in her new school, whichever one it was.

After our family pow wow and fervent prayers, Abbey decided she wanted to spend her last year of elementary at Wasatch Peak Academy.  We had to rush around to get everything arranged and find stores with uniforms still on the shelves but it was worth it.  We even got to meet the Piano Guys at the Gateway after we finished our shopping!  I think it will be a great year for Abbey, a year to get more fully prepared for junior high.  Her new teacher, Mrs. Williams, has a fine reputation, and the bonus is that she is super tall, just like Abbey, and seems fun as well as no nonsense.

Meeting the Piano Guys at Gateway
 This is how far she has come.
 Checking out the new school after the big decision
Yes, she was ready to become a Wasatch Peak Academy Patriot

 Abbey looked so cute in the uniform!
She indulged me again with picture taking at the school this morning, but I think the hug at the classroom door really was too much for her.  I doubt I will be able to do all this next year in junior high.
Mrs. Williams is a former U of U Women's Basketball team member and has no problem with her height.  She even highlights it with her VERY high heels!

When Abbey got home today she was pretty tired and didn't know what to think of her first day.  She said she had made a couple of new friends and likes her teacher, but she said it might be a boring year.  But as the day wore on and we went to the store for school supplies, her excitement for tomorrow started to build.

So now Abbey has gone from being an ASD Dragon as an expat to being an ex-expat and a Wasatch Peak Academy Patriot.  Here's to another great year of learning and growing.  I just wonder if she will grow in height as much as she did last year in 5th grade - watch out Mrs. Williams!

 This was taken on the first day of 5th Grade, September 2011.
This was taken in June 2012, and yes, Abbey Kearney is taller than her teacher Miss Abbie Taylor.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Counting Our 30 Years of Blessings

Last night our children threw us a 30 year anniversary party.  Now why would anyone throw a 30 year party?  Why not a 25 year shindig or wait for the big 50th?  When I asked Kristy why she came up with this idea she mentioned something about how she had wanted to do a 25th year party but it just didn't work out that year with her living in Colorado.  When people asked us about the unique 30 year party we just told them that because Brett and I have had such health struggles this year, our kids were worried we wouldn't make it to our 50th Wedding Anniversary so they decided to go with the 30th.  :) Whatever the reason, it turned out beautifully thanks to ALL of our children.  Every one of them spent so much time, energy, and care in planning and pulling off this incredible night.


Kristy and Mary were the brains and creative directors of this special event and Ben and Jared were the brilliant artistic/muscle support team.  Abbey was the energetic kid chaser and tender for the day of the party and faithfully kept the Robinson grandchildren from destroying the church and each other - and that was a big job, believe me.  Sadly, little Miss E was home with her other grandparents nursing a cold so we missed her.

Kristy's dream was to hold the party outside, to add a little more class to the festivities than our original church gym reception had, which was held so many years ago in little Washington, Utah.  Now Brett and I are not too particular about this kind of thing, but Kristy and Mary are party experts and wanted the open house held in the bowery at the West Bountiful Chapel in our stake.  Well, the weather did not cooperate with the party planners' vision and there was an emergency shift of location with some slight panic when the winds picked up, blowing decoration sundries everywhere, so it was inevitable that our gathering be held in another church gym.

Our kids made this gym glow with candles, twinkle lights and beautifully crafted homemade decor, complete with our wedding colors of lavender and grey.  And unlike the 1982 reception, where we could hear all the echoes of the clomping high heels walking across the wooden basketball court, this gym had carpeting which muted the sports influence and allowed us to hear each other and the 1980s music playlist Ben had put together.  So to the tunes of Chicago, Foreigner, Journey, Steve Miller Band, Willie Nelson, Styx, and Hall & Oates we visited with wonderful family and friends who braved the stormy night to honor us. We watched a DVD that Ben and Jared made which included some of our wedding photos and the most embarrassing and touching scenes from our lengthy wedding video.

 Miss Millie
 Kimball-icious
Thomas
 That basketball carpet can be unforgiving when chasing little brothers.
 Mom and Del came and called themselves "Bonnie and Clyde" all night.  Don't ask me why.
Dave and Sheila Krogue are great neighbors, friends, and fellow St. George Temple wedding-ers.
Aunt Lucie and Uncle Harold (my dad's brother) just celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary.
Donna (Brett's mom) had her 72nd birthday the day before and looks amazing, especially for being a three time cancer survivor.  Kristy, Abbey, and Mary are the Party Powerhouses.
The guests were few (kind of like our original reception) but so wonderful and it was nice to have more intimate conversations.
 Del and Mom have only been married eight months but they are looking as happy as ever.
Eric and Lynn Millis are great friends we have known for over 22 years.  Their example of a successful  marriage and family has inspired us so often.
 Aunt Ruth (my dad's sister) and my mom had a chance to get reacquainted and catch up.
Dick and Evelyn Lemon have been two of our biggest supporters since we have moved to Bountiful 22 years ago.  They are dedicated to each other, their family, and our church, and on top of that they are just full of love and understanding for everyone.  We have been blessed to have them as an example as well.
This is Pat, Millie, Kristy, Donna, and our Jared.  My step-mom Pat brought my dad's sister, brother, and sister-in-law to the party to fill in for my dad who passed away in 2008.  Pat continues to be such a blessing in our lives with her thoughtful caring ways and constant devotion.
Millie was the official jewelry inspector of the night.
My sister-in-law Janie and brother Randy came to celebrate with us and helped with the clean-up.  They are still newlyweds themselves and some of our favorite people.
 Aunt Ruth and Ben had time for a hug.
Towards the end of the evening the sky cleared up and showed off some brilliant colors.
My sister-in-law Marcell has always been someone very important in our family.  She deserves her own post so I will save her part of our story for later this week.
Yes, Marcell, we love you so much.
 After the festivities were over the Ninja Clean Up Crew came out!

Thank you, Kristy, Jared, Mary, Ben, and Abbey!  Thank you for making sure we celebrated a 30 year milestone that has seemed to come about with amazing speed.  Even though it seems like yesterday that Brett and I met on the steps of the St. George Tabernacle, the in and out breaths of our lives together have been joyfully delicious, comforting, unnerving, tender, eye-opening, challenging, and remarkable all at the same time.  We treasure these 30 years in our hearts and look forward to 30 more, and maybe, if we are lucky, another church gym will host a similar celebration when we can look back again and say, "Where has the time gone?"