Friday, August 22, 2008

Being Homesick

Since we have been in Qatar the homesickness has come in intervals. One day Abbey will be really sad and ready to go home to her kitty. Another day will be my turn to shed a few tears over missing my purple petunia basket on my porch in Bountiful. Then Brett has a turn aching for the green Rocky Mountains of Northern Utah.

Until someone goes away from home, they don't know what will trigger feelings of homesickness. The strangest things will remind me of something I miss, and then I find myself impatient about this new life I am trying to maneuver through. One night I had a dream I was shopping in Target. I woke up in despair, realizing I really couldn't walk into that store of plenty. Maybe that is a sign I haven't been here long enough! Brett and I have gotten to a point now where we don't feel like we are simply trying to survive, so we have had time to reflect on the simplest things we miss about home. Here are just a few things we miss:

Brett misses seeing facial expressions. (All his students are women, and most of them wear the abaya with the berkha.)

Abbey misses hugging her friends.

I miss my Bosch mixer and cooking up something good for Ben and Mary or the neighbors.

Brett misses reading the Deseret News in the morning.

Abbey misses her brother throwing her on the couch when they wrestle. (When we Skyped with Ben he told her to throw herself on the couch for him, and he would punch himself in the arm for her. It wasn't quite the same, but it helped.)

Even though we get to see our grandsons almost every day on the web cam, I miss holding them, running my hand across Thomas' sweaty, thoughtful brow, or squeezing the cottage cheese thighs of Kimball - there is so much more to squeeze these days! There is nothing like kissing tiny baby toes.

The list could go on and on, but you get the idea. There are things I miss that I can't even write about yet, because it hurts too much. Homesick feelings can be large and they can be minute, but no matter what, they have to be acknowledged and discussed at some point. It is a good thing the homesickness has come in waves and we have taken turns comforting each other on the bad days. I don't know what we will do when we all come home and lose our cools at the same time because we just can't stand the sight of sand anymore. Tonight Abbey said, "Mom, tomorrow we are going to the airport and getting on a plane to go home to Utah." It took quite a bit of self-control to not agree and book the flight. Instead, Brett and I threw her on our bed and surrounded her with cuddles. Thankfully that is one thing I don't have to miss here. Our Abbey is an expert cuddler. When you are away, what are you homesick for?


Breeann said...

I just love reading about your new journey. I can't even imagine the amount of homesickness you are experiencing! I was gone for a week and I couldn't wait to be home. I think #1 on my list would be just the familiarity of home and my routine, I thrive on my schedule. We miss you and cant wait until you are home for a bit so that we can see you and hear all of the stories in person, in the mean time, keep writing!

Kristy said...

Oh, this is making me teary. I miss you guys so much. And I still miss lots of things about Utah: cooking with Grandma, extended family get-togethers, familiar haunts, and most especially hugs from my mom and dad!

Kathy said...

Dianna, I'm so happy to find you have a blog! I just read your last entry and I found myself being homesick for your little family as well. Isn't that how it goes.... When you find you can't visit someone readily, that's exactly who you want to visit right now. Every now and again, life has a great way of letting you know how important people are to you. And right now, life is tugging at my heart and letting me feel how important you and your little family are to me and mine. We love each of you and you'll be in our every prayer while you're away from home. I hope to see you all at Ben's wedding.
Aunt Kathy

The Littlefields said...

I hope it's okay that I linked you to my blog... I am loving reading about the adventure that you guys are having. What an opportunity!! I love the pictures, and your eloquent way of speaking... I can hear you in what Kristi writes as well, you are both so talented in bringing your words to life.
Please keep the posts coming, we can all live through you and your experiences.
It's good we have the internet/web-cams, it makes "home" seem a lot closer than it really is.
Take care, Steph (moyes)

Amy said...

Let me know if you need me to send you a photo of your petunia basket. I'll run right over and snap one for you! I moved from the East to Utah, and I definitely miss many things about it: the green and leafy trees, the rolling Blueridge Mountains, the Metro to take you to DC where you can experience free museums and history on every corner, fireflies and my mom's kitchen, my old bedroom, which we called the "garden room" because it would cast leafy shadows on the walls every morning while the birds chirping served as the only alarm clock I ever needed!

I learned that I miss wherever I'm NOT, but it gives me greater appreciation for the place where I AM.

When does Abbey start school? The kids in the neighborhood went back today, I think. We love you guys!

momoftwoboys said...

Dianna -
I think Kathy said everything I was feeling! It's so true when you suddenly know you can't just pop in and visit your friend, that's exactly what you want to do! Just think, some day you might possibly be homesick for Qatar! We sure love you guys! The boys went to school today - they are now both full time - I was homesick for them. I let myself cry for a few minutes. We love hearing about your adventures!

ljanlyons94 said...

Dianna, I don't care how much you miss me, you can not squeeze my cottage cheese thighs. Kathy is so right we tend to take for granted that which is right on our door step, even a planter. Then when we can't easily get to what we are so'comfortable with' we long for it with all our hearts. A little time is a great thing because then that longing turns into a sweet memory that brings a smile to our hearts...we still miss it, but with time it becomes sweet. The thing I am the most 'home sick' for besides all of you...a big hug from Tommy.