Mohammed Ali and the Driver's License

Okay, is it Drivers License, Driver's License, or Drivers' License? I think appostrophes are grossly neglected in signage and print today. . . Well, when we arrived in Qatar we were exhausted. Abbey and I slept while Brett began the process of immigration that first full day. Part of that immigration was to get a Qatar driver's license. That sounded simple enough, but Brett told me that it felt like he had stepped back into the old world when he went. When I went a few days after he did to get my license, I knew he had been accurate.

VCUQ (Virginia Commonwealth University) has a man working for them who is the liason officer, which simply means he speaks Arabic and knows how to bridge the gap between western and middle eastern folk. He is pretty much the go-to guy. His name happens to be Mohammed Ali though, so every time I see him, even though he is dressed in the traditional Arabic garb with the thobe and the shimagh, I think of that song that was written for the fighter Mohammed Ali: "He floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee." Instead of being a prize fighter, this Mohammed Ali is an Egyptian immigrant to Qatar who has worked for this American University for ten years.

So last Thursday I got to see Mohammed Ali in action, and I must say, his moves are as impressive as the boxer's moves in the ring. First of all, he walks very quickly with short strides. How he does that, I don't know. I could barely keep up with him when we walked from the SUV to the government office that looked like it served people as well as livestock. Secondly, Mohammed Ali uses very little verbal communication, but is able to breeze past long lines and accomplish so much with less trouble than the regular citizen. Obviously his reputation preceeds him. I felt like a gawky western bumpkin running to keep up with this man. We got to the souq (shop) where I had to have my polaroid taken for the license, and he said maybe two or three words in Arabic to the two men behind the counter, pointed to me and the stool in front of the blue cloth on the wall, and said, "You, sit." When the pictures were unveiled they showed that I had blinked. Mohammed Ali rolled his eyes at me and said, "You sit again." Again, another gawky moment.

The other VCUQ employees I was with started visiting with me in the reception area (and I use that term loosely, because there wasn't a whole lot of welcoming atmosphere there), and I guess we got a little loud. Mohammed Ali came over and with just one look and a weird hushing sound let us know that we were being inappropriate in the official office. We quickly quieted down, but somehow I felt like I had let him down yet again. First the blinking in the photo, now this. I was just praying that I would pass the eye test so they would actually give me a license.

Well, I now have that Qatari license, and from what I've seen it is simply a license to drive like a Nascar sponsored allstar. What is more important though is that I didn't let Mohammed Ali down, and I have begun my cultural journey toward understanding a people who can have the smooth poise of a butterfly and the driving ettiquette of a bumble bee. Since Mohammed Ali is the "go-to guy" for the university, I've been told that another one of his jobs is to provide support in all situations, and if I get in a car accident I should call him first and then the emergency number. I just hope that never happens, because I would just be adding to the list of times I had let him down. He's just one of those people you don't want to disappoint!

Marhaba

Marhaba means "welcome" in Arabic. For the most part, we have felt very welcome in our new home in Doha, Qatar. I think there is no getting around the cultural overload though, and we have been pretty overwhelmed. The 24 hour plane flight, the moving, the hot and humid climate, not to mention all the bland colors of sand and sand-colored buildings have had quite a physical as well as emotional and mental impact on us. It is quite a unique experience for a westerner to walk through a mall filled with people dressed in abayas and thobes. I don't know what can prepare a person for that.

The morning after we arrived Abbey and I slept 14 hours straight while Brett started his first day of orientation atVirginia Commonwealth University Qatar. It has taken all of us over a week now to feel rested - and even then it is questionable.

I have a new appreciation and respect for my dad who emmigrated from Germany to Canada in the 1950's. He didn't know any English and had to slowly learn the language as he manuevered his way through a new country and culture. At least for us, most people here know some English - and I use that term "some" very loosely. I find myself asking the maintenance man at our complex to repeat things over and over. He is not even Qatari. There are more immigrants in this country than there are nationals. We were told that there are only 200,000 Qatari nationals in this land, and most of them are very wealthy, so they need that immigrant population to support their lavish lifestyle. In honor of that, and because the hot humid climate has taken my natural sweet smells to new heights, I bought myself some new perfume here called "Lavish." It hasn't helped me feel any more like a native, but it has definitely improved the surrounding aromas. Next time I will write about how I went to go get my Qatari drivers license with Mohammed Ali. Imagine that!

Passports To Our Future

Hey, I never thought I would have a passport, but it is official. The pictures are proof that we will now be an international family - living our lives between two worlds. We are excited yet so nervous.

I have been having trouble sleeping - what a surprise. My mom has always told me that I was the worst sleeper out of all her children - even as a baby I had to be IN my own bed to sleep, none of this drifting off peacefully on my dad's shoulder stuff for me. I'm sure it made for some long whiny nights of traveling for my parents. These days my brain will not turn off, because I keep checking off the lists in my mind and worrying over the items not yet checked off and the items not yet discovered that should be on my list. And yes, the lack of sleep is causing some major whiny nights.

Among many, one sad milestone we have come to is selling our car. You wouldn't think a gold minivan would be near and dear to our hearts, but it has been a faithful car, and we bought it just when Kristy and Jared were getting engaged. We somehow knew that Colorado would be in our future travel plans. Now our future doesn't involve the car that Abbey named The Silver Beezungus anymore (even though it is gold the silver part stuck). Yesterday a family came and gave us an offer on the van. I wanted to refuse it and tell them that there was no way that they could appreciate all the hours we (including a pregnant Kristy) all spent driving to New Mexico to see my brother Randy or the many games we invented to help us get through that long stretch between Price and Grand Junction. Our family cars have always been more about feelings than metal and mechanics, and it is difficult to let those feelings go.

I've told a few of my friends that I really have more empathy for my pioneer mothers who had to choose only a few items to put into that all too small handcart, the contents of which had to provide the family with all the necessities, comforts, and feelings for their new home. It is agonizing to decide which blanket, toy, or outfit will help Abbey adjust to life in Qatar. What food items will we not be able to find in the markets of Doha? Packing my duffel bags and suitcases has made me think of the movie One Fine Day with Michelle Pfieffer and the magic purse her character carried around on her busy day. From this purse she was able to miraculously pull two Halloween costumes, items to create a new outfit when she spilled food all over herself before an important meeting, and a variety of other things, even surprising herself and George Clooney's character. That is what I want - a suitcase that will anticipate my family's needs over the next few months so that we will be prepared for anything. Hey, if any of you know where to find one of those suitcases or if you just have some good suggestions for sleeping under stress and traveling overseas, let me know. All I know is that the Silver Beezungus won't be the handcart I get to pack for this grand adventure. It's too bad too, because those fold down seats have been quite handy for carrying just about everything!

Doha Here We Come

I haven't blogged for quite awhile, but the latest life decision begs for some explanation and elaboration. Brett just accepted a teaching position with Virginia Commonwealth University in Qatar. We are leaving August 1. Last summer Brett's friend Kevin, who teaches at VCUQ, came to our home and asked Brett to consider applying for a position with the school. He thought Brett would be well-suited for the faculty and the challenge. We thought he was crazy at the time. Qatar is in the middle east, a small peninsula off the east coast of Saudi Arabia. It is a safe country that is very westernized, but still . . . The more emails Kevin has sent over the last year and the more overtime Brett has had to work with his present job has made the nine month 8-5 job in Doha, Qatar look quite appealing. Brett has worked so hard all of our married life - at least two or three jobs at a time or a full-time job and full-time school.

A new experience in a foreign country and a chance to travel with student field trips are also part of the appeal. Abbey is very excited. When she was three she kept asking us if we could move. We were surprised by that request and would try to convince her that our neighborhood, our home, and her friends were wonderful. She would agree with us and then just say, "But I want a new experience." I was dumbfounded - isn't every experience a new one for a three year old?! Well, Abbey hasn't voiced that request for a long time, but we certainly are going on an adventure that qualifies for long ago desire.

During the decision making process our son Ben announced his engagement to his sweet girlfriend Mary Smith. They haven't been dating a long time, but hey, when your parents get engaged after only three weeks of dating, two months of dating is LONG. Even though the engagement is such happy news, we will now be leaving them during their engagement and missing out on being here for all the planning. I am trying to get everything planned before we go, but it will still be difficult to miss the showers, the little details, and especially all the bonding time with them as they continue their courtship. We will be coming back for a week at the end of October for the wedding, but I feel like I want to split myself in half. When it came down to the wire and we had to make the decision, we kept saying, "How will we feel if we decide not to go to Qatar?" Answering that question helped us move forward with plans to go, because we knew if we turned down the offer, we would always wonder "what if . . . "

So I will have a lot to share here in the coming months. I hope you will tune in and join us on our once in a lifetime adventure. One of my friends said, "Dianna, this is just so out of character for you guys." She is right, but maybe that is the point.

The Moms in My Life

Thanks to all the moms I've had the privilege of knowing and watching. Of course my own mother is quite a mom and has set an example for me all my life about how to focus on my family and care for those around me. My mom taught me to make the perfect pie crust, go visiting teaching, and make up fun poems. She is a bread maker, a seamstress, an inventive cook, and a natural healer.

Then there is Esther. She is the mom I chose for myself when we moved into our first little house across the street from her. Her love has always inspired me, and I have always known there is at least one person on this earth who would welcome me with open arms no matter what. She adopted me and my family, listened to me, let my daughter practice piano at her home for years before we could get our own piano, and even paid for our car to be fixed one time. Esther is a talker, a cook, a gardener, and a loyal, loving friend.

Another mom I admire is Lucille. She is on a mission right now in New Zealand with her husband, and she still inspires me with her no nonsense advice, her faith, and her devotion to the Gospel. When I was consumed with sadness over my son's lost faith a few years ago she is the one who gave me hope and told me to concentrate on something I could do to keep hope alive - go to the temple and keep his name on the prayer roll. Today in Sacrament Meeting that same son stood and bore testimony of the restored Gospel and looked at me in the congregation as he thanked me for being his mother. Lucille helped me wait in faith instead of fear for that moment. Lucille is a cheerleader, a work-horse, and has always been a missionary for the Lord.

My step mom Pat has also been a great example and resource. When my dad married her in 1981 I was graduating high school and realizing there was a whole big world to try to understand. She has helped me do that more every year by offering me a wide perspective. The selfish part for me is the joy she has brought my dad as she has been his companion and taken such good care of him for so many years. We both have been blessed by her mothering.

There are many other women in my life who have lifted me, listened to me, and taught me how to be a better, more Christ-like woman. Thank-you to all of you.

The Price of a Yard

Yesterday Abbey told me that she wishes there were no such thing as money. She had it all figured out - we would just go to the store and get what we wanted. I like her idea and tried to explain selfishness and human nature, but she didn't quite get it. Sometimes I wish a kid would run this world. Sharing would be a must. We have had a few bids on doing some things in our back yard, like a new deck stairway, cement, and an awning. Our yard has never been finished nor usable. We don't have the energy anymore to be do-it-yourselfers, so we seem to be at the mercy of contractors. They are expensive! The bid tonight was $10,000, yes I said $10,000. You would think we were building an addition on to our home. At this point, I don't know what to do. I knew it would cost a bit, but who knew it would be a third of my yearly income!

Back to Reality

Here are the girls at Women's Conference standing in line with armfuls of cheap bags - oh the fun!

Hey, it is back to reality after having four very spiritual days. I am brimming with ideas for self-improvement and family activities to increase the love and sanctuary of our home. Mostly though I am filled with the distinct reminder of whose I am and what He expects of me - just my best effort to lead myself as well as my family back to Him. The combination of Women's Conference and our Regional Conference this weekend was amazing and powerful. Sister Sheri Dew said, "We (speaking of the women of the church) are the Lord's secret weapon." AND "What would change if you thought of your life as a ministry?" She is so inspiring and has such a succinct way of speaking the truth.

One of the many great ideas I heard about making the most of the Sabbath was to tell your children that there would be a quiz on the Sacrament Meeting (in our case today, regional conference) talks at dinner time. Abbey was excited when I whispered to her that she should listen to the speakers so she would win the prize after the quiz. She started writing down notes on the talks, imitating what Brett and I were doing. At one point she slumped her shoulders down and said, "Mom I will forget the first part by the time we have the quiz." When we got home she wanted to have the quiz immediately so she wouldn't forget anything. It was great to ask her questions and see how much she really does listen even though she is bouncing all over the chairs and us. It was good for her to realize how much she is learning, understanding, and even remembering.

It is great to be filled up right now and regain some perspective on life and eternity. One thing President Monson said in the closing session has stuck with me. He said, "Never make the problem to be solved more important than the person to be loved." I think that is powerful advice for families. Here are two other thought-provoking quotes: "One must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being." (May Sarton, novelist, poet) "Pray for something good to ponder." (Hillary Weeks, singer song-writer) I hope you all have a great week with something good to ponder and someone to love and lead.

Women's Conference

Well, I'm off to Women's Conference at BYU tonight. It will be a welcome three day get-away with my friend Lori. I hate to say it, but I need to go away so my family will welcome me back. I have been grouchy and in need of a respite, and they have kind of taken me for granted - just enough to want to say, "Hey, I just picked that up and now it is on the floor again. Were you born in a barn?!" I am excited to sit in a few classes and not be interrupted by anything. I am thrilled to learn something instead of teaching something, or trying to teach something, to eighth graders.