Sunday, September 30, 2007


I turned 44 on September 21. I was sick for days around my birthday, so I didn't really have the time to think about another year tacked onto my life. Now I am reflecting on this momentous occasion. The days accumulate so slowly, but when a birthday comes, I realize how much of my life has sifted through my fingers. I have evolved over these years and now say and do things I never thought I would when I was in my twenties. Dirty dishes just aren't my main worry anymore. I don't lose sleep over what I'm going to wear tomorrow. The things I do worry about are my overall effectiveness as a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, and a friend. How can this ever be measured? I'm glad I'm not in charge of this measuring. I have faith in a perfect Savior who will stand as our advocate when that final analysis takes place. At times I feel very close to that eye-opening day and confident that I will be able to look my Father in Heaven in the eyes, knowing I have done my best. Then there are days when my confidence falters and I remember being impatient over the silliest thing like a pink clay stain on the table from Abbey's girl pirate ship creation. I might be 44 but have a long way to go until I am molded into what He wants me to be. I guess all creations leave their stains as the molding takes place.

1 comment:

Cami said...

I, for one, am so grateful that you have a birthday to celebrate each year! I have more reason to celebrate life everyday because of you. You are my dearest friend! You are so patient with me and teach me so much. I want to be like you when I grow up. You have such deep insight and a spirit beyond your years. I wish I could write poetically what is in my heart. I guess I should have paid better attention when I was taking English! But thanks for being my friend. I know birthdays are hard for you but life would be hard for me without you being here to celebrate your birthdays.
Love ya lots,