Sunday, September 30, 2007
I turned 44 on September 21. I was sick for days around my birthday, so I didn't really have the time to think about another year tacked onto my life. Now I am reflecting on this momentous occasion. The days accumulate so slowly, but when a birthday comes, I realize how much of my life has sifted through my fingers. I have evolved over these years and now say and do things I never thought I would when I was in my twenties. Dirty dishes just aren't my main worry anymore. I don't lose sleep over what I'm going to wear tomorrow. The things I do worry about are my overall effectiveness as a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, and a friend. How can this ever be measured? I'm glad I'm not in charge of this measuring. I have faith in a perfect Savior who will stand as our advocate when that final analysis takes place. At times I feel very close to that eye-opening day and confident that I will be able to look my Father in Heaven in the eyes, knowing I have done my best. Then there are days when my confidence falters and I remember being impatient over the silliest thing like a pink clay stain on the table from Abbey's girl pirate ship creation. I might be 44 but have a long way to go until I am molded into what He wants me to be. I guess all creations leave their stains as the molding takes place.