Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Knitting As Restitution

The other day I read in the newspaper that an 89 year old woman in Great Britain was facing criminal charges because she went on a rampage and slashed car tires one night. Since the fateful evening she has been placed in a care center because of her declining health. The magistrate was at a loss about what to do with her, so he decided, since she wasn't likely to be a repeat offender because of her health and her age, that he would sentence her to knit a few sweaters as punishment for her criminal activity.

Okay, so here is what is going through my mind since reading such an odd article: What made her so crazed and upset that she would slash a bunch of tires? Was it a random selection of tires, or did she actually know the owners of the cars and deliberately vandalized specific ones? Was she so upset with the neighborhood of teenage hoodlums squealing their hot rods up and down her street that she lost it, grabbed her knitting needles, and sunk them deep into the offending tires with her superhuman adrenaline-enhanced grandma strength? Maybe she is one of those sweet old women who has never raised her voice EVER and had had a lifetime of being pushed around, so she displaced her pent up resentment on a bunch of innocent cars at the supermarket.

Then there is the judge. Was this sentence for his benefit or hers? Knowing she couldn't knit, did he really want to torture her in her last years on this earth and force her to master the yarn craft? Or did he just want some new winter wear in time for the holidays? Filling in all the holes of this story could go on forever. What possibilities come to your mind?


Richardson Family said...

Oh my goodness! That is hilarious.

Amy said...

I hadn't heard this story. How funny yet sad at the same time. I can't imagine how an 80 year old would have the strength to drive a knife, let alone a knitting needle into a car's tires! I'm thinking she was falsely accused or had help. If she did do it, then I suppose that was the judges' intent in doling out such a punishment - it will take her the rest of her life to complete the sweaters! Poor lady. I don't want to get old.