A Blessed Day

Here are some photos of a very important day in our family, and especially important for our Abigail.

For those of you far away: we thought of you every minute today and felt your love. Abbey had a few tears last night, realizing again that her sister and brother were not going to be with us, but this was a great opportunity to talk about one of the blessings of the Holy Ghost and how he can comfort and bring good feelings to us from those who love us, on the other side of the veil and on the other side of the world. We were also able to read some heartfelt words from Abbey's grandparents during the meeting, and that helped all of us feel close to them.

Note to our Bountiful Shadows Primary Leaders: Do you notice the towel at the beach with Abbey's name on it? Thank you so much for wrapping her in your love on this beautiful day.

When we were home for the wedding Kristy sent a special gift with us to give to Abbey today. She will receive it later when we Skype with Kristy and her family. It has her name and today's date embroidered in the corner. Kristy said that is represents the Holy Ghost and how he can be a comforter in times of sorrow, loneliness, and worry. Our inspired bishop said some of the same words in his talk about the Holy Ghost. It is a beautiful quilt made with love. The flowered material is significant in our family. It was originally part of a laundry bag my sister Yvonna made for me when I went off to college. Then it became our family "Gunny Bag" with glued on eyes who ate leftover toys in messy rooms as our oldest two children were growing up. Then the bag got sent off to BYU with Kristy. Now it has found its way into Abbey's life in this treasure.

The beach was a brilliant setting and the weather was perfect. The water of the Arabian Sea will be locked in our minds forever.

Our friend Jesse pointed out that the sun came through the clouds at the climax of the event - what good timing. Felicity said, "See Abbey, God loves you."

To respect the requests of our host country, we are not giving details of what this meeting is, but you all know, and we trust you can fill in the blanks. I will have to share the particulars in an email to come. We love all of you!

Name the Indiana Jones Movie

Petra is one of the exotic places in the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade movie. This is one of the places we are going to see in Jordan next month for our vacation. I'm getting excited. I showed this picture to Abbey today and she said, "I thought we were going to stay in a hotel."

What's In a Name?

How important is your name to your identity, to your personality, to your self-concept? All my life people have misspelled and/or mispronounced my name. I have been called Diane, Deanne, Deanna, even Debbie (how they got that one I don't know). One of my close relatives, someone who has known me since I was in diapers, still calls me Diane, even after repeated corrections. Even Google gets it wrong: when I type in my name it asks me if I meant Diana!! And forget about finding commercially produced items with my name on them. The situation improved somewhat in the 80's when Princess Diana came onto the world scene, but that was short lived and it didn't help the misspelling problem.

The truth is it has always bugged me when people get my name wrong, and I tend to take it as a symbol of our relationship or potential relationship. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt and wait to write them off only after the third or fourth time they goof up my term of identification. My attitude has been, "If you don't have the time or inclination to get to know how to spell and pronounce my name, I must not be that important to you, so there." (Tongue sticking out in derision.) I shouldn't be that hard on the poor people who come in contact with my hypersensitive self, and I know my feelings are more of a reflection of how I tend to feel invisible. Yet all these years I have used this small symbol in my life to define and determine too many things. I wonder how many great friendships I have derailed because someone called me by the wrong name.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I got brave enough to speak up and correct people when they made the mistake. I would carefully mention to them that my name is Dianna with two n's and not Diane or Deanne. This new behavior took people off guard even though I did it with respect and tact. Unfortunately, what I learned was that it was only slightly self-affirming and not correcting the problem. People who get my name wrong continue to get my name wrong with or without corrections.

Yesterday Abbey came home from her first Activity Day activity with a hesitant smile. Her leader had made all the girls beautiful embroidered pillows with their names on them. And there at the bottom of Abbey's pillow it said, "Abby." She saw the disappointment in my eyes even though I tried not to show it. She shrugged and told me it was okay. She also told me that she had let her teacher know how to spell her name correctly. Inside I cheered, because it took me about 40 years to do something like that. I guess if we don't get a chance to overcome something in our own life, we get to keep reworking it, even with our children. Thankfully Abbey is way ahead of me at her age. Oh how I wish my parents had just named me Susan, or would that be Soozun?

Waste Not, Want Not

Last week Brett, Abbey and I attended a lecture at VCU Qatar. It was part of the their 10th Anniversary Celebration. The speaker was Chris Jordan, a former corporate lawyer, who almost by accident became a photographer who chronicles the waste of our planet. He captures the massive scale of refuse that the United States has in his pieces titles Intolerable Beauty, and he does this to wake people up to what we are throwing away and consuming. His lecture became very political, and some people were a little upset about the dismal picture of the U.S. he was painting, mostly because Mr. Jordan was advertising our huge shortcomings to a Middle Eastern audience that doesn't need any more evidence to despise America.

Nonetheless, the lecture was quite interesting. Abbey sat for the whole hour snapping photos of the images Mr. Jordan shared. Not only does this photographer capture the waste of America, he helps us digest the enormity of that waste by physically capturing the total number of say the amount of computer hard drives thrown away in a four hour period, or the masses of cell phones (426,000) discarded in one day. He does this by mathematically figuring out smaller chunks of waste, photgraphing that, and then scaling that up with the computer. Then he also explains the impact this waste has on our environment. Every cell phone has a component that can only be obtained from a tree or plant in a South American country - the only location on our planet for this natural resource. To harvest this resource there has significant enviromental impact. As he showed us his photography he had a very important environmental message.

When Jordan began his self-appointed mission and found himself discovering all the waste of one country, he said he felt like he had been in Disneyland all his life, enjoying the rides and the wonder of the surroundings, and then when he began seeing the landfills full of our refuse, he felt like he was walking behind the scenes of Disneyland, where the ugly workings were exposed and uncovered. The illusion of America as the land of plenty turned into the reality of America as the land of disposal and consumerism. Check out this video of part of his presentation to Inhabitat at their Greener Gadgets 2008 Conference. Scroll down to find the video.

We came away from Mr. Jordan's presentation very thoughtful and ashamed of our own consumerism. Whenever I have used a paper towel this week I found myself feeling guilty. Jordan's images were from America, but Qatar has big issues with consumerism as well. So much is thrown away every day all over the planet. I grew up with parents who lived through the Depression. They are not consumers. They use and reuse almost to a fault. Come on Mom, how many times can a person resuse a Ziploc bag without it being a health hazard? So I have been thinking about how I can consume less and recycle more. What are your suggestions? My daughter Kristy has been very proactive about this. I guess I want to join the throngs of people who are becoming more aware of their environmental footprint. I think there are those people who carry this hyperawareness too far, but where is the happy medium where I can feel good about my stewardship over this planet? How do you take care of our planet?

thenings to do today (yes, I know it is misspelled)

(Abigail's list for Saturday - her spelling retained - don't you love how she spelled "things"?)

beads with mom

read with dad

frend over

make puppets

love cat

draw

science

spy

swimming

Now guess which ones she checked off her list: yes, she and I attempted to do some bead work with a loom kit she received as a birthday gift. It was an adventure, and she patiently waited while my giant hands tried to tie tiny, stretchy threads onto the loom. She gratefully understood my inability, and I was luckily saved by a friend coming over to play. Yes, her friend Brynn came over and they played fisherman (Ci Ci was the catfish that helped them find other fish) and spy. So I guess that activity included loving the cat, because you know how much cats love to be chased by little eight year old girls. Yes, Abbey went swimming with Brett and then read -scriptures just before bed. The puppets, drawing, and science will have to wait for another day. This list reminds me of another little girl who grew up in our house, a girl who is still writing lists and accomplishing most of what she sets out to do. Check her out here. I love the optimism of children and how they motivate us to check important items off of our lists like, help my daughter fulfill her dreams, stop and notice the soft fur on the kitty, and create something new today. What is on your "To Do List" today?

My Favorite Photo of the Day

I just received some great wedding photos from Mary's sister (thanks Rachel), and this is my favorite photo of the bunch. I love my grandson Thomas so much, and this captures the last few minutes of Ben and Mary's reception when Thomas had danced his little heart out and let me hold him. He was definitely ready for bed, but he didn't want to miss the sparkler send off for the newlyweds. This is a rare photo, because usually Thomas is so energetic and busy that he will seldom stay in my arms for any period of time. I enjoyed every minute! It seems like just yesterday that Thomas was so little and could barely stay up past 7 PM without being way too cranky. The night of the reception he asked all the pretty ladies (young and old) to dance, he ran around looking very dapper in his tux - even with the back belt of the vest undone and dangling along behind him, and he was up way past 9 PM, so pleasant to be with. Thanks for the hugs Thomas - they will have to last me quite some time!

Happy Birthday Abbey! Eight Years Old?!

Yesterday was Abigail's eighth birthday. The time has flown! She was worried she wouldn't have a good birthday, because she is so far away from family and old friends, but I think it turned out okay. Thanks to Marcell, Grandma Kearney, Grandma Giggey, Kristy, Jan, and Jennifer for thinking ahead and sending her birthday gifts with us when we were in Utah. She loved all her gifts. My favorite part of the day was when she said her prayers and thanked Heavenly Father for all the people in her life showing her how much they love her. She has been such a gift to our family. Abbey keeps her old parents young (and tired!).

It was an early morning, but Abbey didn't fuss about getting out of bed this time. She got to follow a crazy string all over the villa to find her presents. It made for quite the adventure when Ci Ci got involved. It was great to see Abbey walk out the door for school with a pan full of homemade cupcakes. Do you remember those days when you could take homemade treats to your class on your birthday? Students can't do that anymore in the states because it is a health code violation. I guess until some careless mother poisons an unsuspecting student, Doha will allow it. After school Abbey got to go to the The Jungle Zone at the Villagio Mall with her Doha friend Brynn. They got to go on rides and bounce around being wild, while Brett about went crazy supervising their fun with all the noise and spoiled Qatari children he saw there. He survived though, brought the girls home, and we had our first Doha dinner party. Brynn's mom Cydney and brother Garrett came and so did Abbey's teacher Miss Verhoye. Our next door neighbors Jesse and Felicity came and so did Felicity's sister, brother-in-law, and niece. It was quite an interesting crowd. They were all kind guests and raved about the white chili I made and stayed for some good visiting after dinner. They even ate the red or blue jello according to the political persuasion they have - just kidding.

The next big thing is Abbey's baptism on November 29th. What excitement for her! An interesting thing happened today during Primary. While the Primary children were singing "Happy, Happy Birthday" to Abbey and "I Am a Child of God" after that, we could hear the call to prayer blaring loudly through the neighborhood. An interesting contrast.

Getting Caught Up and Many Thanks

It has been a busy few weeks. The best part was being in Utah for our son's wedding, seeing the joy in his face as he knelt across the altar from his glowing, beautiful bride Mary, and catching up with family, especially my grandsons. Kristy has posted quite a few pictures of the wedding already, and you can check them out at thebonnymess.blogspot.com, but I have posted some of my favorite shots here.

Coming back to Doha has been quite difficult, especially because we left family, our comfortable home, and the crisp cool temperatures of Utah in October. The fall colors were amazing, and the weather for the wedding couldn't have been better. The other difficult part is the jet lag - boy has it been tough. Abbey was up all night one night, not able to sleep. She then went to school and came home and crashed on the couch. But it has all been worth it for the treasured experiences we had. It was wonderful to be in the temple, especially for such important and sacred purposes.

I want to thank those of you who sacrificed time, money, and energy to be a part of Ben's wedding. We have an awesome family and remarkable friends who are generous and supportive. Thank you to Jared for traveling back and forth to and from Colorado twice (once by car, once on the plane) so he could teach and be in Utah at critical times. Jared was also Abbey's hero when he made time to carve a pumpkin with her in the middle of all the hullabaloo. He thought she had been cheated out of some the normal Halloween fun, and he really helped restore some of that. Thank you to Kristy who gracefully balanced two little boys while creating a breathtaking hairdo for her little sister Abigail and beautifying herself for the reception as well. In fact, she balanced many things while throwing a bridal shower, creating beautiful wedding gifts for Ben and Mary and precious birthday and Christmas gifts for us to bring back to Doha. Grown up kids are such a blessing!

Thank you so much to Mary's parents Ed and Ann. They, along with their fabulous family, created such a glorious day for Ben and Mary. And the work they did over the last three months has been invaluable, and I'm not just talking about planning a wedding. They have been Ben's surrogate parents since we have been in Qatar. Thanks also for understanding when we left all the clean up to you and your crew so we could go home and pack. I can't say enough good things about such great people. And the best part is that now we are related! Speaking of being related, I want to thank my brother Mark and his wife Amy for coming from Hurricane to participate. Mark jumped in to help with the audio visual difficulties at the wedding dinner, even though he has never even been close to being a computer geek.

Thanks also to my good friend Jennifer who tended Abbey, Thomas, and Kimball while we were in the temple for the endowment day, even though she had seriously burned her leg the day before with boiling water. What a trooper! Thanks Jacque for watching Abbey the morning of the sealing and delivering her to the temple at the perfect time for her to see the bride and groom come out for pictures. Thanks to Jenny and Jacque for taking Abbey and 15 of her friends for ice cream one night. It was perfect timing because she got pretty tired of all the wedding chaos. A big thank you goes to the Reilley family and Josh for saving the wedding dinner by magically pulling a laptop out of your car so the "show" could go on. We have so much gratitude and love for all of you who have blessed our lives and helped Ben get to this point in his life.

As I danced with my son at the reception, I realized that the biggest part of his life was just beginning. We have had him in our home for 22 precious years. Mary will have him for . . . well forever. Then I remembered the gold locket around my neck that I had dug out of my stored jewelry box that night to wear. Brett gave it to me years ago, when Kristy and Ben were small. I had placed small photos of Kristy and Ben in that locket then. Over the years Kristy's picture had fallen out and gotten lost, and I hadn't found a small enough picture to put in its place. So little Ben's photo was solo in my locket that night.

Even though moms have their children for such a short time in comparison to the rest of their lives, moms know them in a unique, microscopic way. Just as I can hold that tiny photo of Ben in my locket, I can also hold all those times with him when he was first discovering how scissors worked on my bedspread, how his new carving set could cut through anything, including his knee, and how to stand up for himself with his sister and chased her around the dining room table to retrieve the last candy bar that was rightfully his. I can even hear his dead pan comment in my head when we told him he was going to have another sister: "Well I guess I'm going to be mowing the lawn the rest of my life." He didn't know how true that would be! Those times and many more sacred and blissful times are treasures to me. Ben is a remarkable man now, one who has grown in leaps and bounds in the last year, especially since meeting Mary. I just hope he forgives me for hanging on to my locket-frozen Ben, pulling him out at times, and cherishing the baby and the boy he grew from. What a blessing you are my Ben!