Passports To Our Future

Hey, I never thought I would have a passport, but it is official. The pictures are proof that we will now be an international family - living our lives between two worlds. We are excited yet so nervous.

I have been having trouble sleeping - what a surprise. My mom has always told me that I was the worst sleeper out of all her children - even as a baby I had to be IN my own bed to sleep, none of this drifting off peacefully on my dad's shoulder stuff for me. I'm sure it made for some long whiny nights of traveling for my parents. These days my brain will not turn off, because I keep checking off the lists in my mind and worrying over the items not yet checked off and the items not yet discovered that should be on my list. And yes, the lack of sleep is causing some major whiny nights.

Among many, one sad milestone we have come to is selling our car. You wouldn't think a gold minivan would be near and dear to our hearts, but it has been a faithful car, and we bought it just when Kristy and Jared were getting engaged. We somehow knew that Colorado would be in our future travel plans. Now our future doesn't involve the car that Abbey named The Silver Beezungus anymore (even though it is gold the silver part stuck). Yesterday a family came and gave us an offer on the van. I wanted to refuse it and tell them that there was no way that they could appreciate all the hours we (including a pregnant Kristy) all spent driving to New Mexico to see my brother Randy or the many games we invented to help us get through that long stretch between Price and Grand Junction. Our family cars have always been more about feelings than metal and mechanics, and it is difficult to let those feelings go.

I've told a few of my friends that I really have more empathy for my pioneer mothers who had to choose only a few items to put into that all too small handcart, the contents of which had to provide the family with all the necessities, comforts, and feelings for their new home. It is agonizing to decide which blanket, toy, or outfit will help Abbey adjust to life in Qatar. What food items will we not be able to find in the markets of Doha? Packing my duffel bags and suitcases has made me think of the movie One Fine Day with Michelle Pfieffer and the magic purse her character carried around on her busy day. From this purse she was able to miraculously pull two Halloween costumes, items to create a new outfit when she spilled food all over herself before an important meeting, and a variety of other things, even surprising herself and George Clooney's character. That is what I want - a suitcase that will anticipate my family's needs over the next few months so that we will be prepared for anything. Hey, if any of you know where to find one of those suitcases or if you just have some good suggestions for sleeping under stress and traveling overseas, let me know. All I know is that the Silver Beezungus won't be the handcart I get to pack for this grand adventure. It's too bad too, because those fold down seats have been quite handy for carrying just about everything!

Doha Here We Come

I haven't blogged for quite awhile, but the latest life decision begs for some explanation and elaboration. Brett just accepted a teaching position with Virginia Commonwealth University in Qatar. We are leaving August 1. Last summer Brett's friend Kevin, who teaches at VCUQ, came to our home and asked Brett to consider applying for a position with the school. He thought Brett would be well-suited for the faculty and the challenge. We thought he was crazy at the time. Qatar is in the middle east, a small peninsula off the east coast of Saudi Arabia. It is a safe country that is very westernized, but still . . . The more emails Kevin has sent over the last year and the more overtime Brett has had to work with his present job has made the nine month 8-5 job in Doha, Qatar look quite appealing. Brett has worked so hard all of our married life - at least two or three jobs at a time or a full-time job and full-time school.

A new experience in a foreign country and a chance to travel with student field trips are also part of the appeal. Abbey is very excited. When she was three she kept asking us if we could move. We were surprised by that request and would try to convince her that our neighborhood, our home, and her friends were wonderful. She would agree with us and then just say, "But I want a new experience." I was dumbfounded - isn't every experience a new one for a three year old?! Well, Abbey hasn't voiced that request for a long time, but we certainly are going on an adventure that qualifies for long ago desire.

During the decision making process our son Ben announced his engagement to his sweet girlfriend Mary Smith. They haven't been dating a long time, but hey, when your parents get engaged after only three weeks of dating, two months of dating is LONG. Even though the engagement is such happy news, we will now be leaving them during their engagement and missing out on being here for all the planning. I am trying to get everything planned before we go, but it will still be difficult to miss the showers, the little details, and especially all the bonding time with them as they continue their courtship. We will be coming back for a week at the end of October for the wedding, but I feel like I want to split myself in half. When it came down to the wire and we had to make the decision, we kept saying, "How will we feel if we decide not to go to Qatar?" Answering that question helped us move forward with plans to go, because we knew if we turned down the offer, we would always wonder "what if . . . "

So I will have a lot to share here in the coming months. I hope you will tune in and join us on our once in a lifetime adventure. One of my friends said, "Dianna, this is just so out of character for you guys." She is right, but maybe that is the point.

The Moms in My Life

Thanks to all the moms I've had the privilege of knowing and watching. Of course my own mother is quite a mom and has set an example for me all my life about how to focus on my family and care for those around me. My mom taught me to make the perfect pie crust, go visiting teaching, and make up fun poems. She is a bread maker, a seamstress, an inventive cook, and a natural healer.

Then there is Esther. She is the mom I chose for myself when we moved into our first little house across the street from her. Her love has always inspired me, and I have always known there is at least one person on this earth who would welcome me with open arms no matter what. She adopted me and my family, listened to me, let my daughter practice piano at her home for years before we could get our own piano, and even paid for our car to be fixed one time. Esther is a talker, a cook, a gardener, and a loyal, loving friend.

Another mom I admire is Lucille. She is on a mission right now in New Zealand with her husband, and she still inspires me with her no nonsense advice, her faith, and her devotion to the Gospel. When I was consumed with sadness over my son's lost faith a few years ago she is the one who gave me hope and told me to concentrate on something I could do to keep hope alive - go to the temple and keep his name on the prayer roll. Today in Sacrament Meeting that same son stood and bore testimony of the restored Gospel and looked at me in the congregation as he thanked me for being his mother. Lucille helped me wait in faith instead of fear for that moment. Lucille is a cheerleader, a work-horse, and has always been a missionary for the Lord.

My step mom Pat has also been a great example and resource. When my dad married her in 1981 I was graduating high school and realizing there was a whole big world to try to understand. She has helped me do that more every year by offering me a wide perspective. The selfish part for me is the joy she has brought my dad as she has been his companion and taken such good care of him for so many years. We both have been blessed by her mothering.

There are many other women in my life who have lifted me, listened to me, and taught me how to be a better, more Christ-like woman. Thank-you to all of you.

The Price of a Yard

Yesterday Abbey told me that she wishes there were no such thing as money. She had it all figured out - we would just go to the store and get what we wanted. I like her idea and tried to explain selfishness and human nature, but she didn't quite get it. Sometimes I wish a kid would run this world. Sharing would be a must. We have had a few bids on doing some things in our back yard, like a new deck stairway, cement, and an awning. Our yard has never been finished nor usable. We don't have the energy anymore to be do-it-yourselfers, so we seem to be at the mercy of contractors. They are expensive! The bid tonight was $10,000, yes I said $10,000. You would think we were building an addition on to our home. At this point, I don't know what to do. I knew it would cost a bit, but who knew it would be a third of my yearly income!

Back to Reality

Here are the girls at Women's Conference standing in line with armfuls of cheap bags - oh the fun!

Hey, it is back to reality after having four very spiritual days. I am brimming with ideas for self-improvement and family activities to increase the love and sanctuary of our home. Mostly though I am filled with the distinct reminder of whose I am and what He expects of me - just my best effort to lead myself as well as my family back to Him. The combination of Women's Conference and our Regional Conference this weekend was amazing and powerful. Sister Sheri Dew said, "We (speaking of the women of the church) are the Lord's secret weapon." AND "What would change if you thought of your life as a ministry?" She is so inspiring and has such a succinct way of speaking the truth.

One of the many great ideas I heard about making the most of the Sabbath was to tell your children that there would be a quiz on the Sacrament Meeting (in our case today, regional conference) talks at dinner time. Abbey was excited when I whispered to her that she should listen to the speakers so she would win the prize after the quiz. She started writing down notes on the talks, imitating what Brett and I were doing. At one point she slumped her shoulders down and said, "Mom I will forget the first part by the time we have the quiz." When we got home she wanted to have the quiz immediately so she wouldn't forget anything. It was great to ask her questions and see how much she really does listen even though she is bouncing all over the chairs and us. It was good for her to realize how much she is learning, understanding, and even remembering.

It is great to be filled up right now and regain some perspective on life and eternity. One thing President Monson said in the closing session has stuck with me. He said, "Never make the problem to be solved more important than the person to be loved." I think that is powerful advice for families. Here are two other thought-provoking quotes: "One must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being." (May Sarton, novelist, poet) "Pray for something good to ponder." (Hillary Weeks, singer song-writer) I hope you all have a great week with something good to ponder and someone to love and lead.

Women's Conference

Well, I'm off to Women's Conference at BYU tonight. It will be a welcome three day get-away with my friend Lori. I hate to say it, but I need to go away so my family will welcome me back. I have been grouchy and in need of a respite, and they have kind of taken me for granted - just enough to want to say, "Hey, I just picked that up and now it is on the floor again. Were you born in a barn?!" I am excited to sit in a few classes and not be interrupted by anything. I am thrilled to learn something instead of teaching something, or trying to teach something, to eighth graders.

Kimball

We have a new grandson and he is wonderful! He was born the day before Brett's birthday, which is appropriate because his name is Kimball Brett. What a lucky grandpa to have a grandson named after him! As you can see he is so beautiful. He looks almost identical to his mom when she was a baby. He is bright-eyed just like Kristy was and yet pretty mellow and calm at times, more like his Grandpa Brett and Uncle Ben. He even has a tinge of red to his hair like his mom did. It was so monumental to sit and hold Kimball when he was just three hours old. It was so good to be with Thomas and see his transition to becoming a big brother. Thanks to my sweet husband for insisting that I get on a plane at the last minute, even if I didn't make it in time to see the birth. And thanks to Tom and Adrienne for the shuttle service from the airport. Three of the excited grandparents swept into the hospital together. It was quite an entourage. Thanks to Kristy and Jared, the amazing parents who brought these two sweet boys to our family. I am so grateful for a growing family. A family to love is a treasure and I have the greatest treasures a woman could have.

Thomas

I have been missing my grandson a lot lately, more than the usual everyday heartache. He is such a bright, beautiful boy who brings love and sunshine wherever he goes. He is growing up so fast and will soon be welcoming a new little brother to his family. This will make him even more grown up when the baby comes. I have missed so much of his babyhood, so it is hard to imagine that he will be three this year. My mind seems to freeze his growth each time we see him, and I expect him to pick up where we left off from the last time, but I'm always surprised to hear the new words he rattles off like a pro and the new way he interacts with his parents. My son-in-law always asks me if Thomas has changed dramatically since the last time we were together, and the answer is always a bittersweet "Yes." I guess I always dreamed of being able to help my grandchildren discover the world around them on a regular basis and get lost in the wonder in their eyes and heart. I don't get to do that much because whenever we see each other there is a catching up period while he remembers who I am. By that time it is time for one of us to go home. The phone is great to keep in touch with his parents but Thomas just isn't into phone conversations. Who knows if he ever will be! He is a boy after all.

Again, it is difficult for me to accept things the way they are and not try to force them into what I want, but at times I just need to feel sorry for myself and then move on. I guess I will just have to be content to see him as much as I do and enjoy him when I can. I must concentrate on what I can build instead of what can't be built. Maybe the fact that we are gaining another little grandson in a few months has reopened the issue. A grandma must be about love whenever and wherever possible. I wish I had a more profound ending to this entry, but I just haven't figured it all out yet. I guess it will take time and experience.