The Moms in My Life

Thanks to all the moms I've had the privilege of knowing and watching. Of course my own mother is quite a mom and has set an example for me all my life about how to focus on my family and care for those around me. My mom taught me to make the perfect pie crust, go visiting teaching, and make up fun poems. She is a bread maker, a seamstress, an inventive cook, and a natural healer.

Then there is Esther. She is the mom I chose for myself when we moved into our first little house across the street from her. Her love has always inspired me, and I have always known there is at least one person on this earth who would welcome me with open arms no matter what. She adopted me and my family, listened to me, let my daughter practice piano at her home for years before we could get our own piano, and even paid for our car to be fixed one time. Esther is a talker, a cook, a gardener, and a loyal, loving friend.

Another mom I admire is Lucille. She is on a mission right now in New Zealand with her husband, and she still inspires me with her no nonsense advice, her faith, and her devotion to the Gospel. When I was consumed with sadness over my son's lost faith a few years ago she is the one who gave me hope and told me to concentrate on something I could do to keep hope alive - go to the temple and keep his name on the prayer roll. Today in Sacrament Meeting that same son stood and bore testimony of the restored Gospel and looked at me in the congregation as he thanked me for being his mother. Lucille helped me wait in faith instead of fear for that moment. Lucille is a cheerleader, a work-horse, and has always been a missionary for the Lord.

My step mom Pat has also been a great example and resource. When my dad married her in 1981 I was graduating high school and realizing there was a whole big world to try to understand. She has helped me do that more every year by offering me a wide perspective. The selfish part for me is the joy she has brought my dad as she has been his companion and taken such good care of him for so many years. We both have been blessed by her mothering.

There are many other women in my life who have lifted me, listened to me, and taught me how to be a better, more Christ-like woman. Thank-you to all of you.

The Price of a Yard

Yesterday Abbey told me that she wishes there were no such thing as money. She had it all figured out - we would just go to the store and get what we wanted. I like her idea and tried to explain selfishness and human nature, but she didn't quite get it. Sometimes I wish a kid would run this world. Sharing would be a must. We have had a few bids on doing some things in our back yard, like a new deck stairway, cement, and an awning. Our yard has never been finished nor usable. We don't have the energy anymore to be do-it-yourselfers, so we seem to be at the mercy of contractors. They are expensive! The bid tonight was $10,000, yes I said $10,000. You would think we were building an addition on to our home. At this point, I don't know what to do. I knew it would cost a bit, but who knew it would be a third of my yearly income!

Back to Reality

Here are the girls at Women's Conference standing in line with armfuls of cheap bags - oh the fun!

Hey, it is back to reality after having four very spiritual days. I am brimming with ideas for self-improvement and family activities to increase the love and sanctuary of our home. Mostly though I am filled with the distinct reminder of whose I am and what He expects of me - just my best effort to lead myself as well as my family back to Him. The combination of Women's Conference and our Regional Conference this weekend was amazing and powerful. Sister Sheri Dew said, "We (speaking of the women of the church) are the Lord's secret weapon." AND "What would change if you thought of your life as a ministry?" She is so inspiring and has such a succinct way of speaking the truth.

One of the many great ideas I heard about making the most of the Sabbath was to tell your children that there would be a quiz on the Sacrament Meeting (in our case today, regional conference) talks at dinner time. Abbey was excited when I whispered to her that she should listen to the speakers so she would win the prize after the quiz. She started writing down notes on the talks, imitating what Brett and I were doing. At one point she slumped her shoulders down and said, "Mom I will forget the first part by the time we have the quiz." When we got home she wanted to have the quiz immediately so she wouldn't forget anything. It was great to ask her questions and see how much she really does listen even though she is bouncing all over the chairs and us. It was good for her to realize how much she is learning, understanding, and even remembering.

It is great to be filled up right now and regain some perspective on life and eternity. One thing President Monson said in the closing session has stuck with me. He said, "Never make the problem to be solved more important than the person to be loved." I think that is powerful advice for families. Here are two other thought-provoking quotes: "One must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being." (May Sarton, novelist, poet) "Pray for something good to ponder." (Hillary Weeks, singer song-writer) I hope you all have a great week with something good to ponder and someone to love and lead.

Women's Conference

Well, I'm off to Women's Conference at BYU tonight. It will be a welcome three day get-away with my friend Lori. I hate to say it, but I need to go away so my family will welcome me back. I have been grouchy and in need of a respite, and they have kind of taken me for granted - just enough to want to say, "Hey, I just picked that up and now it is on the floor again. Were you born in a barn?!" I am excited to sit in a few classes and not be interrupted by anything. I am thrilled to learn something instead of teaching something, or trying to teach something, to eighth graders.

Kimball

We have a new grandson and he is wonderful! He was born the day before Brett's birthday, which is appropriate because his name is Kimball Brett. What a lucky grandpa to have a grandson named after him! As you can see he is so beautiful. He looks almost identical to his mom when she was a baby. He is bright-eyed just like Kristy was and yet pretty mellow and calm at times, more like his Grandpa Brett and Uncle Ben. He even has a tinge of red to his hair like his mom did. It was so monumental to sit and hold Kimball when he was just three hours old. It was so good to be with Thomas and see his transition to becoming a big brother. Thanks to my sweet husband for insisting that I get on a plane at the last minute, even if I didn't make it in time to see the birth. And thanks to Tom and Adrienne for the shuttle service from the airport. Three of the excited grandparents swept into the hospital together. It was quite an entourage. Thanks to Kristy and Jared, the amazing parents who brought these two sweet boys to our family. I am so grateful for a growing family. A family to love is a treasure and I have the greatest treasures a woman could have.

Thomas

I have been missing my grandson a lot lately, more than the usual everyday heartache. He is such a bright, beautiful boy who brings love and sunshine wherever he goes. He is growing up so fast and will soon be welcoming a new little brother to his family. This will make him even more grown up when the baby comes. I have missed so much of his babyhood, so it is hard to imagine that he will be three this year. My mind seems to freeze his growth each time we see him, and I expect him to pick up where we left off from the last time, but I'm always surprised to hear the new words he rattles off like a pro and the new way he interacts with his parents. My son-in-law always asks me if Thomas has changed dramatically since the last time we were together, and the answer is always a bittersweet "Yes." I guess I always dreamed of being able to help my grandchildren discover the world around them on a regular basis and get lost in the wonder in their eyes and heart. I don't get to do that much because whenever we see each other there is a catching up period while he remembers who I am. By that time it is time for one of us to go home. The phone is great to keep in touch with his parents but Thomas just isn't into phone conversations. Who knows if he ever will be! He is a boy after all.

Again, it is difficult for me to accept things the way they are and not try to force them into what I want, but at times I just need to feel sorry for myself and then move on. I guess I will just have to be content to see him as much as I do and enjoy him when I can. I must concentrate on what I can build instead of what can't be built. Maybe the fact that we are gaining another little grandson in a few months has reopened the issue. A grandma must be about love whenever and wherever possible. I wish I had a more profound ending to this entry, but I just haven't figured it all out yet. I guess it will take time and experience.

Cat in the Hat

I think sometimes that the trials we face are fashioned exclusively for us, and that is why they are so big and so deep and so tall (Cat in the Hat). Lately I have felt like the Cat in the Hat, trying to hold up the two books, the fish, the little toy ship, and the milk on the dish. Inevitably the things fall and the mess must be dealt with. I think those trials are to help us turn to the Lord and ask for specific blessings. Last night I was doing just that, but I didn't know the specific thing to ask for, so I just asked for peace. It came.

Today I need to ask again. It is a great thing that Heavenly Father doesn't put a limit on how many times we can make those requests. Maybe the concept I am not willing to comprehend is that I might not be able to juggle all those things I want to and hop on the ball. I read something today that opened up holes in my heart that I thought had long been plugged up. It is very difficult for me to accept things the way they are without dropping all the things I'm juggling. I guess I will just have to go out and get one of those machines the Cat has. I wonder if I could find it on e-Bay!

Christmas Adam

Today is the day before the day before Christmas, so Abbey has declared that it is "Christmas Adam." I guess because Adam came before Eve. I thought that was pretty clever. It has been a great day - no migraine, not much elbow pain, and I got a FULL night's sleep. It is amazing what I can accomplish when I get enough sleep and don't have debilitating pain. Tonight we had our annual Reilley party with our good friends the Reilleys. They are so great and we have known them for a very long time. This annual party started eighteen or nineteen years ago and it has survived all the changes and bumps our two families have been through. Lori and I have known each other since I was in elementary school. We were in the same ward when my family lived in the Granger 14th ward. She is a devoted friend and has called me EVERY day this last year. It has been her way of helping me through a tough year while I have battled my on-going depression. I am so thankful for her friendship and devotion. She is an inspiration to me. I am blessed to have her in my life. I am very blessed to have so many in my life who love me! I love this part of Christmas - appreciating the best kind of gifts I have been given. This life is amazing and wonderful, and as Abbey has pointed out, it all started with Adam.